Breaking up is rarely clean, and even when you think you’ve moved on, your emotions may sneak back up on you, especially during conversations. But not every thought needs to be shared. Here are nineteen things you should never say to your ex. How many of these have you almost said?
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“I Hope Your Next Relationship is Less Boring”
The line, “I hope your next relationship is less boring,” always gives off the idea that you’re not okay and that you’re trying to hurt them. It’s pretty obvious. Even if the breakup was rough, taking shots like this doesn’t make you look cool or clever because if you really don’t care, you stay quiet. The minute you start throwing insults, you’ve already lost the high ground.
“My Therapist Says You Were the Problem”
Saying, “My therapist says you were the problem” might feel satisfying in the moment, but the truth is that your therapist isn’t your hype man. Including their name like it’s proof just makes the conversation weird. Plus, unless they met your ex personally, it’s not even accurate. Therapy is supposed to help you grow, not make you feel like you should start assigning blame.
“Guess Who I Ran Into From High School?”
Unless it’s someone they owe money to or someone who mysteriously vanished, why are you telling them, “Guess who I ran into from high school?” It’s rarely just about the old classmate, but rather, a way of asking them if they still care about you. The truth is, they probably don’t. And if they do, they’re not going to show it by reacting to your random trip down memory lane.
“I Had a Dream About You Last Night”
There’s no need to share something like, “I had a dream about you last night,” because most of the time, it just makes your ex wonder why you’re still dreaming about them. Dreams are weird. Don’t make it weirder. People don’t know how to respond to revelations like this, especially if they’ve moved on, because you’re giving them information they probably don’t want.
“Your Mom Texted Me”
It’s never helpful to tell your ex, “Your mom texted me,” as mentioning their family out of the blue sounds like you’re clinging to old ties. Honestly, you probably didn’t answer the message anyway. Don’t use their mom to sneak back into the conversation because even if the message was innocent, it puts your ex in an awkward position.
“I Cheated Once”
The relationship’s already done, so telling your ex, “I cheated once” isn’t going to fix anything. Rather than closure, you’re destroying their peace of mind by dumping this on them. It’s the kind of thing people say when they’re trying to clear their own conscience, but it just passes the weight onto someone else. Neither one of you is going to heal.
“Do You Ever Wonder What Our Kids Would’ve Looked Like?”
A question like, “Do you ever wonder what our kids would’ve looked like?” hardly makes for light conversation. You’re dragging someone into a fantasy scenario without an exit strategy, and once you say it, don’t be surprised if they start crying. There’s really no reason to make things heavier than they already are.
“I’m Surprised You’re Still Single”
Saying, “I’m surprised you’re still single,” always sounds smug, no matter how you spin it. Nobody wants their ex to evaluate them, so just keep your fake surprise to yourself, even if you mean it as a weird compliment. You’re not their mentor, and your opinion on their love life stopped mattering when things ended. Keep it that way.
“Your New Partner Seems…Nice”
If there’s a pause after “seems” when you say, “Your new partner seems…nice,” then it’s already suspicious. People can hear the judgment, even through text, and whether you mean it or not, it just comes across as petty. The only time it’s okay to say something like this is if they’ve asked for your opinion, which is probably unlikely. Either way, it’s awkward and unnecessary.
“I Still Think About That One Night a Lot”
What are you expecting them to say when you tell them, “I still think about that one night a lot?” Saying it opens the door to a conversation that’s probably not going anywhere useful, no matter how fun the night was. Do you want to get back together? Are you just feeling nostalgic? It makes things weird, and people are left unsure of how to respond.
“We Were the Real Love Story”
You’re not Nicholas Sparks, and you’re not in a movie, so don’t say anything dramatic like, “We were the real love story.” It sounds sweet, but it comes with pressure that nobody wants to deal with. People say this kind of thing when they’re feeling emotional or regretful, but it rarely makes the other person feel good. Instead, they just feel uncomfortable.
“I Don’t Think I’ll Ever Feel That Way Again”
You might say something like, “I don’t think I’ll ever feel that way again,” and be honest, but the truth is, it sounds like a guilt trip. Everyone’s trying to move on, so keep it light or skip it altogether. If you’re struggling, that’s completely valid, but sharing that with your ex puts them in an awkward spot because they can’t fix it, and now they feel responsible for how you’re doing.
“I Always Felt Like I Was Too Good for You”
Some people say, “I always felt like I was too good for you” during a breakup just to get the last word, although it doesn’t land the way they think it does. Instead, it sounds like you’re trying to prove something, even if it’s true in your head. Saying it out loud makes the whole thing uglier than it needs to be, and nobody ever walks away feeling impressed.
“My New Partner Does This Way Better Than You Ever Did”
There’s no good reason to bring your new partner into a conversation with your ex, and comparing them by saying, “My new partner does this way better than you ever did,” screams insecurity. You’re simply trying to stir the pot. It doesn’t matter if your new person is amazing, talking about them to your ex isn’t respectful to anyone involved.
“I Always Knew You Weren’t the One”
People usually say, “I always knew you weren’t the one,” when they’re trying to come off as totally unbothered. However, it never comes across like that. If you knew that early on, then why stay for months or even years? It just makes it sound like you wasted your own time, and nobody thinks you have it all figured out.
“I Never Really Loved You Anyway”
Likewise, if it were true that “I never really loved you anyway,” you probably wouldn’t need to say it. And if it’s not, now you’ve just said something mean for no reason. This is the kind of comment that comes after messy fights or in 2 AM long texts, which doesn’t make you look strong or over it. It just makes it obvious you’re trying to erase the past, so it hurts less.
“Are You Seeing Anyone Serious Yet?”
There’s no way to ask, “Are you seeing anyone serious yet?” without it getting weird. There’s always a little tension behind it, and it’s not small talk. Instead, you’re fishing for details you probably don’t want to hear, and if they are seeing someone, now what? You either pretend to be fine or spiral later.
“You’re Going to Regret This One Day”
The line, “You’re going to regret this one day,” isn’t dramatic, and it isn’t empowering. It’s definitely not mysterious. It just sounds like you’re hoping they’ll suffer down the road, and if you’re truly in a better place, you don’t need to threaten someone like this. Just move on and live your life with the confidence that you’ll be okay.
“I Told My Friends Everything About Us”
Saying, “I told my friends everything about us” comes across as a weird flex. What’s your ex supposed to do with that information? Most people hear it and think you’re trying to make them part of your life again, regardless of whether you are or not. Everyone vents to friends sometimes, but rubbing it in feels more like you’re trying to stir up drama.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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