Anger manifests in various forms. But in some people, it becomes a serious problem that can impact the way they speak to other people. And perhaps they don’t realize it, but their words speak volumes about their struggles with emotional control. These words will pop up frequently in people who struggle with anger management. These can be insulting, dismissive or even threatening words.
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“You Always Do This”
This is a very common phrase used when someone is angry and stressed. Rather than address the present challenge, they mention past frustrations & lump them all together. It’s like the other is being held responsible for everything – even things they didn’t do. The term “always” makes it sound like they’re completely at fault all the time. This exaggeration does nothing to resolve the issue. It only makes it harder to continue a rational discussion.
“It’s All Your Fault”
When a person is angry, they don’t see what they are doing wrong. When they say, “it’s all your fault,” they blame the other person for everything. This phrase blocks conversation because it snuffs out the possibility of a meaningful discussion. It’s easier for an angry person to blame someone than to question what they did. In time, this might leave the other person feeling hurt or unworthy (especially if they know the blame is unfair).
“I’m Done Talking About This”
Ending a conversation suddenly is an escape from dealing with emotions. When people say that they are not exactly ready to listen or solve the problem — It’s like putting a lid onto a boiling pot and not turning it off. The problem doesn’t go away – it accumulates. This phrase can leave the other person feeling pushed out and left behind, particularly if they still wish to discuss things.
“You Made Me Do This”
People with anger problems will often resort to this saying to evade responsibility for their actions. In blaming someone else, they make it seem as if they could not have had this outburst in the first place. They might say this, for instance, when they yell or hit someone, because the other person “pushed” them to do so. Such deflection can hurt relationships because it makes the other person feel guilty about something they did not do.
“You’re So Sensitive”
This phrase is used to downplay other people’s emotions. An angry person will not like to say they were out of their depth or said something offensive. Rather, they flip the situation on its head by claiming the other person is “too sensitive.” This moves the issue away from their action & allows the other person to believe that their feelings don’t matter. In the long run, this can make the other person believe that they should bottle up their emotions in order to not get criticized.
“I Don’t Care”
When someone says this in a furious voice, it’s usually not true. Most of the time, they care – but are too overwhelmed to communicate effectively. “I don’t care” is a means to stop the conversation and not to be vulnerable. It can make the other person feel that he/she isn’t important enough. This phrasing doesn’t solve anything – it just makes people more distant.
“You’re Just Trying to Start a Fight”
This phrase places blame on the other party and makes look like they’re causing a problem. It’s how the angry person can evade responsibility for their own side of the disagreement. Rather than listen, they accuse the other person of being aggressive. This can leave the other person frustrated because what they’re arguing about is dismissed as “getting in a fight.” This leads to more drama rather than resolution.
“If You Don’t Like It, Leave”
This is a common expression used when one is cornered or overwhelmed. It’s an extreme statement that drives people away, emotionally or physically. These might be the words of the angry person, out of frustration, but they can have a long-lasting effect. This will make the other person feel unattractive or unloved, especially if it’s said in a loving relationship. It’s a destructive way of dealing with problems because it fails to fix the problem.
“Whatever”
A disapproving “whatever” may be a small word, but it carries a lot of weight. When someone says that they usually mean that they’ve given up trying to negotiate. They shut the conversation down rather than responding to their emotion or listening to the other person. This can make the other person feel ignored or as if it doesn’t matter. In the long run, this can break down all communication between human beings.
“You’ll Regret This”
This phrase is one of the more serious signs of extreme anger. It might sound threatening, even when it is not. And when someone uses this phrase, they’re essentially trying to bully or get the other person to do something. It makes the other person feel uneasy and insecure. This type of language undermines trust and creates a toxic relationship, especially when it’s used a lot.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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