Many people say they hate being the center of attention, but some common phrases people say every day reveal their hidden craving for attention.
Quiet ego
“I hate to be the center of attention, but…”
It’s an evasion tactic that gives a person permission to redirect the topic of conversation back to themselves while appearing coy about it. This phrase implies that they don’t want all of the attention focused on them, and they will pretend modesty when talking about themselves. It’s a non-aggressive way to hog the conversation.
Baiting compliments
“I’m such a mess today.”
Usually stated when they are obviously wearing makeup and have taken great care in their appearance, this is actually a bait statement, fishing for reassurance. They aren’t complaining about having a bad day.
They want everyone around them to halt everything they’re doing to affirm that they look perfect, or they’re doing an incredible job. It manipulates everyone around them into giving them instant validation.
Mystery invite
“I probably shouldn’t even tell you this…”
This is used when someone wants people to feel like they’re about to hear a big secret. When a person uses this, others feel special; in fact, the whole room stops talking and paying attention to everything else but the speaker. He or she has made everyday news feel like confidential information that they’re shouldering the burden of sharing.
Digital validation
“Did you see what I posted?”
Asking someone about their own social media content during an in-person conversation is one of the quickest ways to immortalize their likes. There’s no chance of you missing their precious post this way.
You’re obliged to at least acknowledge or compliment the pictures, videos, or captions they choose to share with you. By asking this question, they’ve taken their private scroll session and projected it onto both of you.
Martyr complex
“I just want everyone to be happy.”
Offered up as evidence of their extreme selflessness, this phrase is often used as a means of making everyone aware of how much emotional labor they’re doing.
It allows them to place themselves as the glue that keeps everyone together and, therefore, makes them the most important person in the room. Others must recognize how they’re always putting in so much effort for everyone.
Drama shield
“I’m not one for drama, but…”
That person who says this is typically about to reveal some information that will cause drama. They separate themselves from “drama” at the beginning of their sentence so they can both preserve their image and start a fight at the same time. They want to be in the middle of the mess and claim to be an innocent bystander all at once.
Suspense building
“I have a huge announcement coming soon!”
This is the greatest attention getter on the internet. It makes people visit their profile continuously to see if they’ve posted more. It leaves their friends and followers hanging, desperate to know what happened, and they will think about them.
They will also receive non-stop “What’s the secret?” requests, allowing them to soak up all the attention they desire before actually revealing the news.
Long saga
“It’s a long story.”
Used when someone asks them something small and casual, it’s a way of implying that their life is more profound and interesting than it really is. It’s an invitation for the listener to beg for details or show extra interest. It elevates small talk into theatre, with them as the melodramatic misunderstood hero.
Forced listening
“Nobody ever listens to me.”
What’s powerful about this statement is how quickly it demands sympathy and ends the conversation a group is currently having. Instead of talking, everyone has to prove that they care about the speaker’s feelings. It forces the attention of everyone around them to turn to them, and immediately.
Brutal honesty
“I’m just being honest.”
This becomes an excuse for people who like getting reactions from people. Honesty is great, but some people like to hide behind brutal honesty to steer attention to themselves, monopolize conversation, or puff themselves up to seem fearless. Oftentimes, it could’ve been said nicer.
Validation seeking
“Does anyone else feel like…?”
Although phrased as a question to the group, it typically becomes a means of voicing what they are feeling inside. They don’t want a variety of viewpoints; they want echoes of people to repeat that specific feeling back to them. It keeps the group’s attention fixed on the speaker’s point of view.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.