One of the best pieces of advice when it comes to moving through life and social circles is learning what not to talk about in order to avoid envy, judgment, and unnecessary drama.
Future plans
When you tell people your long-term goals, you experience an immediate brain reward by releasing dopamine. Your brain thinks you’ve already finished the hard work involved with achieving your goal.
This causes you to be extremely unmotivated when it comes time to follow through with your plan. People who are jealous or resentful of your life, may also cause obstacles and make it hard for you to achieve your goals.
Financial standing
Whether you’re rich or poor, sharing your net worth will only bring about jealousy and resentment. Once you tell people how much money you have in the bank or how much you make a year, people will treat you differently.
They’ll either see you as prey to mooch off of or a victim to feel sympathy towards. When you keep that information to yourself, people can only judge you on your personality and smarts.
Past grudges
Moaning about things people did to you years ago and replaying toxic arguments is just immature. Not only does it make you seem like a hot-headed child with a grudge, but it also paints you as someone who’s never over things.
Intelligent people know that staying angry all the time means you’re poisoning yourself and not the person you’re mad at, so most disagreements are settled internally.
Personal weaknesses
Being genuine is great, but airing out your inner psychological wounds, fears, and trigger points gives toxic people a map for how to hurt you.
Save that level of vulnerability for a very small circle of people you truly trust. Privately work through your issues with a therapist, and act strong in public.
Acts of kindness
Bragging about your donations, grand philanthropy, or even simple acts of kindness instantly devalues the act. It turns something altruistic into a thought-out technique for approval.
Intelligent individuals know better than to let their giving be undermined by public relations to inflate their ego. Besides, your humility will keep your intentions honest and your beneficiaries dignified.
Relationship drama
Venting to your friends about your significant other, your past fights, or private conversations will only allow others to form an opinion about someone you care about.
After you share these things, your friends will continue to analyze and criticize your partner, even after you have made up with your partner.
Core beliefs
Injecting your political, spiritual or uber philosophical beliefs into casual conversation will rarely win you converts. More often than not, it just annoys people and breeds needless conflict.
Smart people know when a room is not for hashing things out. Saving those thoughts for another time lets you have friendly, productive relationships with everyone.
Family secrets
Every family has its own messy dynamics, has crazy relatives, is broke, and definitely has secrets. Sharing your family’s drama with acquaintances and work friends breaks your family and friends’ trust by allowing your personal support team to be talked about and judged by hateful people.
Intelligent people know that family should stand by each other, and they keep those problems at home.
Your IQ
Talking incessantly about how intelligent you are, correcting people’s grammar, or casually mentioning SAT scores doesn’t make you sound smart; it just sounds insecure.
Intelligent people never feel the need to convince a group that they’re smart. They let their good judgment, analytic skills, and high EQ speak for themselves without saying anything at all.
Hidden talents
You aren’t obligated to perform your secondary skills, artistic hobbies, or linguistic abilities just because people are giving you cheap praise. Showing all the time will make you seem needy for attention and approval from people you don’t know.
Save that special trick up your sleeve for another time. That way, you will seem more mysterious and you can wow them later when you actually need that skill to help with something.
Good luck
When something amazing happens to you because you got lucky, inherited something unexpectedly, or a random stroke of luck, flaunting it will only offend friends who are having a rough time of things.
Claiming credit for your big score will only distance you from others. Attribute your success to providence and remain humble. Not only will you be liked, but you’ll also appear approachable.
Material possessions
Flaunting designer logos, Rolex watches or BMW keys often helps you find shallow friends but gains nothing but extreme envy from your peers. Smart people understand that wealth cannot replace inner personality and substance.
True security is being able to enjoy great products because of their usefulness, craftsmanship, and how you like to live.
Lifestyle habits
Whether you wake up at 4 AM to meditate or follow some insanely restrictive diet or workout regimen, you shouldn’t feel obligated to tell everyone you know about your ways.
Smart people know that what is perfect for their body and mind will not work for others. They concentrate on doing what they need to do to stay disciplined instead of preaching about how others should live their life.
Career doubts
Venting to coworkers that you don’t think you’re cut out for your job, despise your boss, or are already interviewing elsewhere is just asking for failure.
Office rumors travel fast, and your offhand comment could prevent you from getting that raise. Save those types of conversations for your mentors or family members who have nothing to do with your career.
Strategic secrets
If you discovered an ultra-efficient way to do your job, have a special daily routine, or know insider hacks about your industry that no one else knows, consider those your secrets.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to share what makes you successful, but if you do it simply to look intelligent, others will take your template, learn from it, and decrease your value. Protect what makes you unique and you’ll stay on top of your game.
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