Everyone knows that BBQs are great social events because you’re outside, eating with your hands and there’s someone’s uncle talking about charcoal like it’s fine art. But starting a conversation with strangers at these things usually feels quite awkward—unless you have a few clever tricks up your sleeve. Let’s look at eleven icebreakers that actually work at BBQs. These aren’t your generic comments, but rather, real, grill-side starters that get people talking.
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“Whose sauce is this?”
Just pick up a bottle and say, “Hey, who brought this?” because it doesn’t matter if it’s store-bought or homemade—people will chime in with their thoughts. Next thing you know, you’re all debating if sweet heat beats smoky chipotle and your comments could even get some people to pull out their “secret” sauces from under the table. There’s sure to be someone who has a weirdly intense backstory about how their cousin makes Alabama white sauce in bulk.
“What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen grilled?”
Asking, “What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen grilled?” while looking at the grill is a great icebreaker because someone’s cousin mentions grilled peaches and someone else says they’ve tried corn dipped in mayo. Now, you have three people swapping food experiments in a way that’s much more fun than asking, “What do you do for work?” Everyone will have a strong opinion they want to share on what food is the strangest.
“Can someone explain how this grill works?”
Don’t ask the host, “Can someone explain how this grill works?” but rather, ask someone standing near the grill because you could start a whole conversation about charcoal vs. propane, for example. Perhaps they’ll admit they once tried to light a grill with a hairdryer—it happens more than you’d think. Someone might even walk you through the whole setup of where the heat zones are & how long the meat’s been on, as well as which lid technique is “correct.”
“Have you ever messed up a BBQ?”
Asking someone about their mistakes by saying something like, “Have you ever messed up a BBQ?” is a great idea because people love telling stories where things went sideways. Suddenly, you’ll hear about a tent collapsing mid-party or the time someone grilled burgers with the plastic still on, which you can all laugh about together. Just make sure you don’t treat this question like an interview—it’s a chance to open up & enjoy yourself instead.
“How do you know the host?”
You can’t go wrong with a classic like, “How do you know the host?” but only if you ask it like, “So how do you know Kevin? Did you go to college with him, or are you just here for the ribs?” People enjoy explaining their connection and you’ll usually find out something random about the other guests—like they once fixed Kevin’s Wi-Fi & never left. Sometimes, the story is long and weird, and you both realize you’ve met before without realizing it.
“Okay, be honest—hot dog or hamburger?”
As you’re standing in line for food, ask someone, “Okay, be honest—hot dog or hamburger?” and get ready for people to jump in with weird add-ons (“I put Doritos on mine”) or strong opinions (“Hot dogs are a sandwich!”). Congratulations—you’ve started a weird food argument and no one’s mad, as long as you keep things light. You’ll hear about the exact brand of buns other people use and maybe how they toast them just enough on the grill.
“Is this someone’s first time at one of these?”
There’ll come a time at the BBQ when you’re waiting for someone to finish pouring lemonade, and they look just as lost as you—just say, “You new to this thing, or are you a regular?” People either light up by telling you “First time!” or they say something like, “Oh yeah, been coming for years,” but either way, you’ve got something to talk about. They might not even be sure how they got invited, which is always kind of fun to hear and will certainly lead to some interesting conversations.
“Do you live nearby?”
This one’s easy when you’re next to someone trying to find a place to sit because you can just ask “Do you live nearby?” or “You local, or just visiting?” and then you’ll immediately have something to talk about. Whether they mention how long they’ve been in the area, or that they just moved & don’t know anyone yet, it gives them something to talk about that isn’t awkward. You don’t need to know anything else and such a question just works.
“So what did you bring?”
You could also follow up the previous question with “You bring anything, or are you just here for the food?” and such a comment usually makes people laugh. You’ll hear things like, “I brought that tray of wings no one’s touched,” or “I stopped at the store for drinks and ran out of time”—people start opening up once food is involved. Nobody feels weird answering, although you might get a few people lying about how much they actually contributed.
“Have you tried that yet?”
Point with your chin toward a tray of something—you know, the stuff with the weird topping that everyone’s either eyeing or avoiding—then ask, “Did you try that yet?” If it’s spicy, sweet, too much, or secretly amazing, they’ll say something, then someone else might hear you and jump in with their opinion. Now three of you are talking about ribs with blueberry glaze and it’s not something you had to try that hard to do.
“What’s been your favorite thing so far?”
Try to avoid asking “What’s been your favorite thing so far?” too soon and instead, wait until someone’s refilling their plate or standing there licking BBQ sauce off their fingers. They’ll tell you their thoughts without thinking about it and once they do, you could either agree or disagree with them. Such a question is simple, but it works, and you’ll probably end up adding that exact thing to your plate next.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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