Guilt is exhausting, particularly when it’s been constructed out of social norms rather than any real misstep.
Saying no
When you turn down an invitation, a project, or someone asking you for help, you are not being selfish or refusing to help. You’re just saying no.
Saying yes when you don’t have time or energy for something will only leave you feeling resentful and burnt out. Knowing how to set hard limits is an important self-care practice that will help you give your all to the things that really matter to you.
Being unproductive
Humans are not robots designed to work at maximum efficiency all of the time. Having a lazy day where you do nothing (or only the minimum required to function) is part of the natural ebb and flow of human downtime.
Rest isn’t something you earn after pushing yourself to exhaustion; it’s something you need to stay healthy mentally and physically.
Aging naturally
Fine lines, silver hair, and changing bodies are just proof that you’ve lived your life and learned your wisdom along the way. You aren’t expected to stand before the world forever young and smiling.
Don’t feel like you have to apologize for getting older. Fighting back against society’s enormous pressure to remove every trace of aging is an act of defiance in itself. Celebrate yourself and the story your body tells.
Prioritizing career
Deciding to invest primarily in your career, ambition, and financial freedom is an absolutely acceptable, deeply rewarding way to live your life. Women are socialized to minimize their accomplishments or apologize for wanting power and wealth.
Remember that ambition is a strength, not a weakness. And desiring to create a legacy for yourself and your future wealth is a wonderful thing.
Remaining child-free
Motherhood is not a mandatory default setting that every woman must choose. If you choose that being child-free is best for your life and happiness, that is a conscientious and highly self-aware choice.
You are not any less of a woman because of your choice, nor do you owe anyone an explanation for your lifestyle.
Choosing Convenience
Whether it’s ordering takeout because you’re too tired to cook, picking up pre-cut veggies, hiring someone to help you when you can afford it, or taking shortcuts, is a smart allocation of resources.
Life doesn’t give you brownie points for doing everything the hard way while screaming into the void. Outsource or simplify wherever you can to keep everything running smoothly.
Expressing anger
Anger is a healthy emotion that all humans feel. It’s there to let you know when someone has crossed a line, violated a value of yours or mistreated you.
You don’t always have to be the calm one, dial it back, or keep your tone nice just because others don’t want to face uncomfortable feelings. Bottling up anger is detrimental to your health, yet letting your anger out constructively will force necessary change.
Prioritizing yourself
You can’t pour from an empty cup, no matter how hard you try. Setting aside uninterrupted time for your hobbies, your mental health, and yourself is not selfishness.
It’s making sure you have the capacity to show up for those around you in the first place. You can’t support others if you aren’t also supporting yourself.
Leaving toxicity
Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for yourself is to walk away from partners, friends, or even family members that drain your energy, disrespect your boundaries or treat you poorly.
You never have to fix someone broken at the expense of your own mental health. Oftentimes, walking away is the best option for your health.
Spending money
You earned your money. You can decide where it goes. Spending it on something that makes you happy, without feeling guilty that maybe the money should have gone towards a more sensible household bill, is completely okay. Don’t judge whether you’ve deserved it or not.
Changing minds
You change as a person, which means your needs, goals, and perspectives on certain matters will change over time.
Dropping out of a commitment because it no longer suits who you are, switching career paths entirely, or flipping your entire belief system upside-down is growing, not being fickle. You can leave past versions of yourself behind guilt-free.
Imperfect spaces
A cluttered home, an untidy office, or an uncurated daily routine is what happens when you lead a normal, busy life.
The majority of the world runs on people living in imperfect spaces, not designing their houses to be immaculate Instagram posts. Your home is where you live; it’s not a public exhibit.
Outgrowing friendships
Some people come into your life for a specific reason, not a lifetime. It’s okay to grow apart from childhood friends if you no longer connect.
People change and grow up, and it doesn’t mean you both aren’t great people for moving forward and pursuing what makes you happy. You can cherish the good times you had without trying to force a relationship that’s no longer there.
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