It’s no secret that Canadians tend to apologize a lot. So much so that Americans don’t always recognize the way that we say sorry, especially since our apologies are sometimes a little more subtle than many Americans realize.
We usually apologize to ease situations, rather than to accept blame. That difference alone is enough to confuse many Americans.
Here are ten Canadian ways of saying sorry that many Americans tend to be confused by. Which of these do you use the most often?
Pardon me
Quite a few Canadians use the phrase “pardon me” to replace “sorry” whenever they slightly interfere with another person’s space. You’ll hear it quite a bit when Canadians brush past someone or cut in briefly.
What confuses Americans about such a phrase is how formal or old-fashioned it sounds, as they usually associate it with someone asking to repeat themselves. It’s not as normal to hear it as an apology over there.
Let me get that
Some Canadians choose not to explain or focus on regrets when they’re apologizing. They’ll instead try to fix the problem immediately by saying something like “let me get that,” whether that’s to pay for a bill or replace a small item.
That can sometimes come across as a little disproportionate to Americans because they might expect discussion before attempts at repair. They’re not expecting to see someone immediately take responsibility for their actions.
Sorry, eh
It’s completely normal to add the phrase “eh” to the end of an apology in Canada, and that can be quite funny for many Americans. They don’t always recognize the phrase as a way of checking the situation.
In fact, they sometimes see it as a sign of reassurance or joking around, and it’s something that linguists have actually tracked as pragmatic. The phrase isn’t meant to be sarcastic.
Sorry instead of thanks
One common Canadian habit is saying “sorry” right after you’ve received a favor from someone, like holding open a door or allowing a merge to happen. Research has found that some Canadians say “sorry” as a form of social work that isn’t necessarily a form of regret.
Americans expect the other person to say “thanks” during such a situation. They may feel that the apology sounds rather misplaced, even though it’s a phrase that’s entirely routine in Canada.
Yielding the final decision after a disagreement
One way that Canadians try to repair things after a small disagreement is by stepping back. They’ll say things along the lines of “go ahead with your idea” or “your call” as a way to apologize & close the moment. Conceding is meant to be the apology.
But many Americans misread it as a form of uncertainty, and they don’t recognize that Canadians are actually trying to repair things.
Apologizing by lowering your own position in the moment
Lowering your stance is quite a normal way to apologize in Canada, and it often involves softening your tone and avoiding pressing a point. It’s something that Americans usually think is meant to show insecurity.
They fail to see that it’s actually an apology happening in real-time. Research shows that such a change in behavior is a form of face-saving behavior.
Accepting the inconvenience
A similar way of apologizing involves absorbing the hassle, something that Canadians know all too well. They’ll wait and redo the task as a form of saying sorry. Research shows that they allow their silence to do the work because restraint is often seen as a form of repair.
But not in America. They usually expect people to explain the situation, so receiving calm acceptance can feel a little jarring to them.
Offering compensation without framing it
You don’t even need to use words in Canada to apologize, as one common way of saying sorry is by skipping your words & going straight to fixing it. It could be as simple as covering another person’s coffee or reversing a charge.
Americans usually wait for wording that never comes, since they’re not used to compensation being a way of apologizing to someone. Sure, they’ll accept. But they might not see it as you admitting fault.
Apologizing by over-clarifying rules you just enforced
Some Canadians try to repair the situation by explaining things carefully. It’s because they see extra details as a sign of fairness, rather than defiance, and communication research seems to suggest that it’s an important part of apologies.
But it’s a different situation for Americans. They hear the justification and start pushing back, as they don’t see that it’s meant to cool things down & keep interactions civil.
Apologizing through collective language for individual mistakes
The phrase “we” is a relatively standard way of apologizing in Canadian offices. But not American ones. The shared wording is meant to spread the responsibility & ease friction between everyone involved, yet most Americans view it as a corporate dodge.
They don’t see how using “we” to apologize is meant to keep everyone feeling equal. It feels rather unusual for them.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
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