Rivalry is almost like a sport to some people. Unfortunately, the only way to recognize that they’re competing with you is by looking at the way that they act, according to research. Here are eleven warning signs that someone may see you as competition. Have you ever been in an unwilling contest with someone else?
They hold back useful information
Researchers have found that people in offices who feel threatened by their coworkers will often stop sharing advice. Previously, they gave advice freely. But then they stopped because they felt like they were in competition with the other person.
They conveniently “forgot” to pass along updates & refused to give shortcuts to things that they clearly knew oh-so-well.
They leave you out of informal conversations
Another study on the workplace found that people tend to exclude other people when they’re envious of them. Yes, a person who views you as a rival may choose to include everyone else for a lunchtime conversation, yet somehow completely neglect the fact that you may have wanted to attend, too.
They’ll pretend as though the idea slipped their mind when it really didn’t.
They keep bringing up your metrics
It’s only really people who are jealous of other people that care so obsessively about their metrics & performance. At least, it’s what social comparison research has discovered.
Take it as a compliment that someone keeps bringing up your rankings, perhaps more often than you do, because there’s something about you that they feel they’re competing with.
They chase the same projects you’re on
It doesn’t matter what projects you’re doing because they’re somehow always doing the same ones. Research on rivalry claims that people will try to copy the work of their rivals.
They want to match them, so they’ll mirror the same clients & same assignment, maybe the same class focus. It all comes from their feelings of competitiveness that they simply can’t get over.
They refuse to collaborate with you
A one-sided rivalry can have all sorts of effects, including making someone want to avoid working on joint tasks with you, according to research.
Sure, they’re okay working with others, it simply becomes a problem when your name comes up. They seem to think that sharing the project would cost them something. Why? Because they think you’re their competition.
They build little ally groups around you
Another issue comes from how they treat your coworkers. You should take it as a warning sign should they create a small circle of supportive coworkers, according to studies on cooperative behaviour.
They may be sharing updates among themselves & making sure that every conversation moves away from you because they’re feeling threatened by you.
They spread gossip about your skills
Being undermined socially really hurts. But perhaps you should take it as a compliment because studies have found that people who are envious of others will usually try to dent that person’s reputation by spreading gossip.
It could be something harmless, like saying you “struggle with details.” Yet they’re doing it because they want to make you smaller & easier to defeat.
They talk down your work to people in charge
Similar research also looked into social undermining in the office. It found that people will occasionally talk negatively about their colleagues to their superiors, simply because they feel competitive.
Such comments may boil down to them saying something as simple as your work being inconsistent or bringing up a mistake you made months before, but either way, it’s always with your supervisor.
They react strongly when you get recognition
Keep a close eye on how they react to your success. You may notice that their posture becomes stiff, or perhaps they give a rather rushed explanation about their own results, despite your praise being minimal.
Studies on competitiveness among colleagues discovered that people respond more strongly to another person’s wins when they see them as competition.
They jump in to answer questions meant for you
People who feel that they’re in a competition will often grab a chance to speak first, and you may notice such behaviour when someone asks a question meant for you. It’s especially telling that they do it when managers are nearby.
Research claims that these people are trying to cover the main points so you have nothing to respond with, apparently because they’re envious.
They keep one-upping your personal stories
You could have a success story to share, yet somehow, they always have to tell you about one that’s just a little better. It’s a story that’s somehow a little louder, somehow a little more impressive.
Sure, it’s not always intentional. But research suggests that such behaviour happens a lot when competitive feelings are involved.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.