There’s no such thing as a good breakup. Breakups are messy and awful, until you get to the other side and realize how much you learned. That’s because the toughest lessons don’t hit you until after the dust has settled, when your heart’s mending enough to process it. And sometimes you don’t even fully understand these things until you live through them. Here’s what only a tough breakup will teach you.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock.
You can survive what you thought would break you
Your world crashes, and you wonder if you’ll ever feel okay. But somehow you breathe, you keep putting one foot in front of the other, and somehow, days and weeks later, you emerge way stronger than you ever imagined.
Being alone doesn’t mean being lonely
The first few days, the silence is awful. But then the novelty of being by yourself wears off, you stop fighting it, and get used to it. Suddenly, you’re not as afraid to be alone, and you even start enjoying it.
Your happiness isn’t someone else’s job
You might think that there’s a partner out there who can make you feel a certain way and fill some gap you didn’t know existed. Spoiler alert: There’s not. Happiness that feels that amazing always comes from within.
People show you who they are — believe them
Looking back, you remember the red flags you waved off or the little gut feelings you ignored. Next time, you’ll be a lot better at trusting your instincts.
Closure doesn’t always come wrapped in a neat conversation
You might never get the apology, explanation, or “final talk” you were hoping for. Sometimes you have to create that for yourself.
Your worth isn’t tied to a relationship status
Being single doesn’t mean you’re less lovable or less valuable. You start separating your sense of self-worth from whether or not you’re in a relationship.
You’re allowed to grieve, even if you were the one who ended it
You were the one who wanted to end things, so it can’t hurt that much, right? Wrong. You still miss them. And you give yourself permission to mourn the relationship, even if it was for the best.
Love alone isn’t always enough
There’s more to a successful relationship than love or chemistry. Things like trust, respect, communication, shared values, and goals are just as important.
Your circle matters more than ever
During heartbreak, your friends and family become your lifeline. You figure out who’s really there for you and how much that support means.
You can’t rush healing
You promise yourself you won’t dwell on it, you’ll just “get over it” as fast as possible. But your heart has a mind of its own. Slowly, you learn that patience is key.
Looking back with honesty is both painful and freeing
When you stop sugarcoating the relationship, you can see both the good moments and the things that weren’t right. Once you learn to be honest with yourself about how things were, you can finally let go.
You learn what you actually want (and don’t want)
A tough breakup forces you to figure out what really matters to you in love. More importantly, it makes you realize what you’ll never settle for again.
Boundaries are everything
You realize how important it is to protect your energy and set clear boundaries. You need boundaries with everyone, including your ex, with friends, and even with yourself.
Self-love isn’t just a cute saying; it’s survival
You learn that taking care of yourself, even when you feel like a mess, is what gets you through. It’s not always pretty, but it’s powerful.
You’re allowed to outgrow people
Sometimes the relationship didn’t fail; you just grew in different directions. And while that’s sad, it’s also a part of life.
A breakup can be the start of something better
You might feel like everything seems like it’s falling apart. But sometimes it’s the catalyst for growth, inner peace, and new beginnings you didn’t think were possible.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
Like our content? Be sure to follow us on MSN.