Some people feel so trustworthy. As soon as you meet them, you feel like you could trust them with absolutely anything, and it’s mostly due to the tiny signals we get from them.
Our brains pick them up & decide to trust them. Here are ten psychological signals that make people instantly trust you, according to science. Which one do you think people notice first?
Start with a real handshake
Handshakes are more important than most people give them credit for. The short moment when you’re holding someone else’s hand tells them that you’re there in good faith.
The ideal kind of handshake? It’s one where you’re firm but relaxed. It gives off a sense of cooperation from the start that tells people instinctually that you’re not there to trick them.
Use a genuine Duchenne smile
There’s a difference between a real smile & a fake one. But it’s not in the mouth. A “Duchenne” smile involves crinkling the corner of your eyes, and people recognize such a grin immediately.
It works well because it’s hard to fake. You’ll only give a real Duchenne smile when something pleasant has genuinely happened to you, so the smile makes you look trustworthy.
Say “hello” with trustworthy acoustics
People decide how trustworthy they think you are before you’ve finished introducing yourself. Speaking in a steady & calm tone comes across much better than speaking with wobbles or rushing.
You have to avoid any sharp edges or sudden pitch changes. Forget about trying to sound professional. Instead, focus on sounding like you mean what you say.
Reflect back what you heard
Repeating doesn’t have to be annoying. In fact, lightly summarizing what someone’s said shows that you were actually listening to them, and that makes them want to trust you.
They feel understood. And understanding builds trust. Just make sure you don’t change what they say, but try to echo what they said instead.
Use brief backchannels
“Backchannel” moments are the times when you say things like “yeah” & “right” during conversations. They’re quite important.
Why? Because they tell the speaker that you’re following along, so they can trust you to understand where they’re coming from. Give it a go. You never know how impactful a few signs of confirmation can be.
Use gentle head tilts when listening
Don’t forget about body language. A small tilt of the head when someone’s talking shows that you’re tuned in & softens your body language. You come across as open.
Give a slight lean when you’re focused because people will read it as empathy. They tend to connect that with honesty.
Offer small choices to give control
Most people relax more quickly when they feel they have some control. So give it to them. Offer them simple options, including which time to meet or what topic to start with, because it tells them that you value what they say.
Feeling comfortable is important. They’re more likely to drop their guard because they’re part of the process.
Match language style, not just content
Tone affects trust. When someone speaks plainly, you should do the same because our brains pick up on language patterns.
It’s often a lot quicker than most people recognize. Mirroring their style of speech helps the conversation to flow more easily. They’ll feel as though you got them, even when it was an ordinary topic.
Use precise, concrete numbers
Most vague numbers sound like guesses. People notice them. Telling someone you’ll see them “around eight” doesn’t feel the same as telling them “7:55” because exact details matter.
They show you’re serious about what you say. Being precise makes people think you’re reliable, without you ever having to point it out.
Match your speaking pace to theirs
Never speak too slowly or too fast. Doing so can throw people off before they’ve had a chance to process what you said, so you should try to make your tempo match theirs.
It makes everything feel easier. That’s not to say that you need to match them exactly. Rather, keep roughly to the same speed as theirs to help people tune into your words & tone.
Keep your posture open and balanced
Try to avoid keeping your shoulders tense or being half-turned away. People notice that behavior immediately.
You should try to face them directly, with your hands relaxed & your posture steady, because it makes you seem calm. It also shows that you have nothing to hide. They’ll feel safer around you.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.