All relationships have their ups and downs, but these patterns of behavior indicate toxicity and disrespect.
Constant jealousy
Extreme possessiveness and baseless mistrust are not symptoms of true love. They are signs of extreme insecurity and a need to control. If your partner questions where you are every other minute, snoops through your phone, or attempts to keep you away from loved ones, there are no healthy boundaries.
Constantly dealing with this madness makes you live in a paranoid world where you always have to prove your innocence.
Chronic dishonesty
Regularly telling white lies or omitting important information compromises the trust that holds your partnership safe. He may become defensive if you confront him about lying.
He’ll make excuses, downplay his actions, or turn the tables by accusing you of doubting him when you ask questions. You can’t build a safe, healthy future with someone who isn’t 100% honest and transparent.
Gaslighting behavior
Gaslighting is when your partner twists facts or flat out denies things that happened to make you doubt your memory, perception, and even your sanity.
They say things such as “that never happened” or “you’re crazy” in order to undermine your confidence and shift blame off of themselves. It makes you feel insecure, always confused and anxious, and too dependent on their version of truth.
Explosive anger
Someone who loses their temper explosively often, shouts and screams, hits walls or objects, and intimidates you into giving up arguments can make you feel psychologically and physically unsafe. Rational, mature adults don’t blow up and engage in intimidating behaviors that force their partner to tiptoe around them.
Anger that isn’t disciplined will usually continue to spiral out of control and rarely gets better on its own; it can also turn into other types of abuse.
Refusing accountability
Never owning up to wrongdoing or playing the victim card in every disagreement is childish behavior. If there’s a problem, your partner will blame stress or his ex or the small things you do wrong instead of apologizing.
You can’t have a healthy relationship with someone who never takes accountability for their actions.
Emotional stonewalling
Stonewalling is when your partner shuts you out, refuses to talk, or leaves the room when you need to talk about important things or even small problems.
When your partner punishes you by giving you the silent treatment, you are left in a painful place where problems aren’t discussed. You are constantly made to feel alone, ignored, and drained.
Love bombing
Bombarding you with too much love, grandiose gestures and dramatic pronouncements of eternal devotion in the early stage of a relationship isn’t romance; it’s controlling behavior disguised.
They try to rush you into falling in love so fast you don’t see red flags and become codependent. After they have you wrapped around their finger, they tend to take the love away and replace it with demands, manipulation, and putting you down.
Boundary disrespect
If your partner consistently disregards your expressed wishes, limits, or physical boundaries, they do not respect you. Whether financial, sexual, or time boundaries, they should never make you feel guilty for communicating what you are comfortable with.
A good partner should care about your comfort level as they do their own.
One-sided effort
If you’re the only one reaching out, making plans, doing the housework, or attempting to salvage things when problems arise, you and your partner have an unhealthy power imbalance.
Someone who passively allows you to do all the investing without returning care, effort, and intimacy is taking you for granted. The more you have to shoulder, the more emotionally burnt out you’ll become.
Disrespecting exes
Notice how your partner talks about their exes and their previous relationships. If every ex-partner is crazy, abusive, or 100% responsible for the breakup, they likely have a bad habit of never looking at themselves or taking any responsibility.
You will be on the receiving end of that lack of empathy and story one day during an argument.
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