There are all kinds of things people do online without really thinking about why and while you might think these habits are normal, you might actually be doing them for approval. You might not be refreshing your post every five minutes or counting likes out loud—but there are more subtle signs that something’s up. Here are twelve signs that you’re chasing after online approval without realizing it. But rest assured, if you’ve ever done some of these, you’re definitely not the only one.
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Editing a Comment Three Times After Posting It
You write a comment, hit post, then immediately hit edit—and then again & again, swapping out a word to make it sound cooler, or deleting something that felt too much. Nobody asked you to fix anything but now you’re reading it like you’re submitting it for grading, even though the whole point of commenting was to say something quick. But, somehow, it’s turned into a mini proofreading session you didn’t sign up for and one that just makes you feel nervous.
Posting Something Vague and Then Waiting for Someone to Ask About It
You might post a half-thought like “today was a mess” or “I can’t even” with no details & no context and it’s not because you’re trying to vent—you’re hoping someone will bite. You want the “are you okay?” message and you’re not planning to explain what’s going on in a post. If nobody says anything, it stings quite a bit, but you still won’t say what happened.
Only Posting Photos When You “Feel Like You Look Good Enough”
You take the photo and you like it, but then it just sits there and every time you scroll past it in your camera roll, you think, “Maybe later.” It’s not the filters or edits you care about—you’re just waiting for a day when it feels safe to post it, or when you’re feeling more confident, or when you think people will care. The memory doesn’t matter but rather, picking the moment that feels least risky.
Deleting a Post If It Doesn’t Get Engagement Fast
Ten minutes go by after you’ve posted something, then fifteen, but you haven’t received enough engagement on a post and even though you act calm about it, deep down, you’re staring at that tiny number. Then it’s gone—you delete it and tell yourself you just didn’t like how it looked, or you’ll post it again later, but it’s a lie. You were testing how much attention it could pull and the response didn’t land the way you wanted, so you deleted it.
Using Other People’s Captions Because They “Sound Better”
You stare at that blank caption box for way too long because nothing feels right, so you just grab something from someone else’s post that already has a bunch of likes—maybe you tweak it a little, maybe you don’t. Either way, it’s not really your voice and you just don’t want to risk sounding awkward, moving the goal away from “say what I mean” to “just don’t sound lame.” If someone else already made it work, it feels safer to copy than to guess what people will like.
Saving “Reaction Gifs” Just in Case You Want to Be Funny Later
Your “saved” folder is essentially your emergency personality kit because you’re not saving memes because they made you laugh—you’re thinking ahead. In this folder, you stockpile jokes you didn’t write, just so you’re never caught unfunny in a comment thread and you always have something to reply with when someone posts something dumb. Most of the time, you’re not even laughing but merely prepping for your next internet moment.
Checking the Comment Sections to See the “Right Opinion”
While you might have something to say, before you type a word, you check out the replies and it’s not because you’re curious. Instead, you’re checking to see which opinions get likes & which ones get ignored or dragged—if yours matches the “popular” ones, you’ll speak up and if not, you probably won’t. Rather than actually weighing in on what’s going on, you’re just playing a quiet game of social math.
Checking Your Story Views by Name Multiple Times a Day
When you post something, you know exactly who you want to see it, so you’ll go straight to the viewers list once it’s up & then again later. Then one more time just to “check something” because you’re watching for a certain person. If they didn’t watch it, it annoys you to no end and you’ll feel frustrated until they do. You posted it for everyone, sure, but really, you posted it for a few specific names.
Switching Between Apps Just to See If Anyone “Liked It Yet”
Once you’ve eventually posted something, suddenly you’re on a little loop of checking Instagram, TikTok, Threads, back to Instagram, although you’re not looking for content. Instead, you’re checking for engagement, whether that’s likes or comments. You’re waiting for a tiny notification to give you something, which means you’re not “just checking,” no matter how much you tell yourself that you are. It’s really just you doing the digital form of pacing back-and-forth.
Asking Friends If Something’s “Cringe” Before Posting It
Just before you post something, you screenshot your post and send it to a friend, asking them, “Is this cringe?” even though you kinda already know your answer. It’s not because you need advice but rather that you need backup, and you’re hoping they say, “it’s fine.” If they hesitate, you scrap it. Essentially, instead of bouncing around ideas, you’re outsourcing the risk of embarrassment onto someone else.
Rewatching Your Own Story to See How It Flows for Others
Watching your story back multiple times makes you almost like your own follower, whether that’s because you’re checking how the music hits or whether the pacing feels right. You might even be checking to see if the transitions are too abrupt—either way, you’ll probably change what you post next based on how this one looked. The idea of capturing a moment isn’t important to you because you’re curating a whole vibe for a pretend audience in your head.
Changing Your Profile Picture Often but Not for Any Reason
It’s been three days since your last update and somehow your profile picture already feels old, despite the fact that nothing major has happened since then. You decide to put up a new favorite photo because you believe the current one feels “off,” so you swap it out. It doesn’t say anything new but the new photo makes you feel like you’ve refreshed yourself and, sometimes, you change it back after a few hours. It’s a way for you to fish for reactions.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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