You can never know what someone else is thinking, but you can sometimes tell where their attention lies based on subtle behaviors they likely don’t even notice themselves.
Nothing seems too small
You briefly mentioned what your favorite dessert was three months ago, and they remember. The same thing goes for your childhood pet’s name or a place you’d want to visit or something you hate. Some people have great memories, but someone remembering small, pointless details means they are listening.
If those little, seemingly inconsequential things you mention stick in their memory, chances are your conversations really resonate with them.
There’s always a reason
A meme arrives because “this reminded me of you.” Then it’s a picture, hilarious video, or random thing they saw that day. None of these texts necessarily warrant a discussion, but they always find something to text you about.
It’s not what they say that’s fascinating. It’s that something made them think of you when you were gone, and they took the time to send it. If that starts happening frequently, you’re most likely on their mind a decent amount.
Your world becomes interesting
They randomly find that show you told them about on their watchlist. They listen to that band you were talking about or develop an interest in a hobby you’ve mentioned.
They may not be purposely trying to mirror you. When we think about someone a lot, items related to them are going to stand out more to us. Showing interest in things you like might just be their way of being close to you when you’re not around.
They catch what others miss
Maybe you’ve only changed hairstyles slightly, you’re wearing new clothes, or maybe you’re just less talkative. They pick up on it before most people do.
To notice small differences, you have to know what someone normally looks and acts like. One glance doesn’t count, but if you start noticing small changes, you are getting way more attention from that person than others.
Conversations keep finding you
They ask you something they could have googled themselves or your opinion on something trivial. A conversation that was only meant to be two messages turns into three more topics of discussion.
Oftentimes, people don’t need information; they just need an excuse to talk to you. If someone frequently makes tiny excuses to speak to you, they may have just wanted to talk to you.
Your reaction counts
They ask for your opinion on their new haircut, an article of clothing, something they want to do or something they have done. More significantly, what you think seems to matter. They recall your words, or they beam when you say you like it.
This behavior doesn’t necessarily mean they like you in a romantic way. Friends’ opinions matter to people as well. However, if your opinion always seems to mean something extra, you have likely secured a special position in their mind.
Your messages matter
Whether you message during the day or late at night, their responses often feel affectionate and interested instead of forced or perfunctory.
We all get caught up sometimes, so an occasional late response isn’t anything. The real tell is they don’t usually leave you on read and will typically circle back when they’re able.
The mood suddenly shifts
Someone may suddenly shift their body language when the person they care about walks into the room. They might become more energetic, stand up straighter, smile or fake smile when you show up, or even become very self-conscious out of nowhere.
No single one of these is conclusive evidence. However, if someone noticeably shifts their demeanor when you are around, it may mean that you mean more to them than they let on.
Their friends already know
You meet one of their friends for the first time, and they already know who you are. Maybe they heard where you work or know a story that involves you. Or they just say, “I’ve heard so much about you.”
Unless you’re a celebrity, information about you trickled down because someone has been talking about you.
They know what’s coming
Before you even respond, they already know how you will answer. They guess correctly what food you order or which joke you will find funny, or where you wanted to travel.
Occasionally you’ll get a text that says, “I knew you would like this.” And they are spot on. Getting to know someone that well typically occurs over time. They’ve remembered small details enough to have formed an eerily accurate portrait of you.
You appear in tomorrow
“You would love that restaurant.” “We should do that sometime.” “I’ll show you when we go there.” Statements like these can feel casual, but there’s a subtle nugget of intrigue hidden in them: you are showing up organically in their future.
It doesn’t automatically mean they picture a future with you in the serious sense. But if someone continues to involuntarily include you in their future, you’re pretty ingrained in how they view their life.
Your absence is noticed
They’re the ones who inquire where you are if you skip a weekly hangout. They text you if you go radio silent for more than a day to see if everything’s alright.
Not everyone in your life notices when you skip their weekly hangout. If someone notices within a day that you’re missing, you were providing them a comfortable routine.
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