People can appear extremely friendly, yet you still sense something that does not feel right about them. Their kindness may feel like an act, or they may show up only when they need something. Whatever the reason, people fake friendliness to advance their position manipulate others, or keep up appearances. Your intuition is likely correct when you feel suspicious about someone who appears friendlier than they actually are. Here are nine warning signs that will help you identify when someone’s niceness is just an act.
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Their Smile Doesn’t Reach Their Eyes
Have you ever seen the exaggerated, forced smile that clearly shows someone is pretending to be cheerful? A genuine smile involves the entire face – with the eyes being the most important part. When someone grins but their eyes appear lifeless or detached, it shows that their smile is artificial. When you talk to someone next time notice if their face lights up naturally or if their smile appears forced. There’s a big difference.
They’re Only Nice When They Need Something
Have you ever noticed how some people turn extraordinarily friendly just before they make a request for help? Maybe they only text when they need help moving, a ride somewhere, or a recommendation for a job. But once they get what they want? Poof! They’re gone. A real friend or kind person stays by your side even without expecting anything back. When people show kindness only to serve their own interests their friendliness is entirely insincere.
They Gossip About Others Behind Their Backs
When people habitually speak negatively about others behind their backs, what do you think they say about you in their absence? People who pretend to be nice support you when you’re around, but as soon as you leave, they begin criticizing you as if it’s their main hobby. People who say “I hate drama but…” or “I wouldn’t normally say this but…” actually enjoy drama.
They’re Overly Complimentary (But It Feels Hollow)
A genuine compliment feels natural. It feels off when someone continuously gives you exaggerated praise. Fake nice people use flattery to gain your favor, but their compliments feel hollow since they express what they believe you want to hear. When compliments seem insincere or exaggerated, they could be a tactic to win your approval.
Their Kindness Feels Like an Obligation
Have you met someone who helps you out but turns it into a big production? They help you while saying things like “Ugh, I guess I’ll do it” or “Fine, but you owe me”. That’s not kindness—that’s guilt-tripping. People who help others out of genuine desire do so without expecting any form of compensation. But fake nice people? They will assist you but make sure you remember their help for as long as you live.
They Try Too Hard to Impress the Right People
Watch how they treat different people. When someone treats authority figures and important people with excessive friendliness but behaves disrespectfully toward service workers it reveals their true character. Real kindness is consistent, not selective. Their niceness is fake because they only show it to people who can help them.
They Subtly Undermine You While Acting Supportive
Some people who pretend to be nice use disguised insults as compliments. Ever heard something like:
“Wow, you actually look good in that! I never imagined that color would look good on you.”
“You got that job? That’s amazing! The team needed someone with less experience than what I have.”
Yeah… that’s not a compliment. This person pretends to be kind but quietly insults you. Whenever their “support” carries a hidden insult, it means they are not offering genuine support.
They Act Differently Around Different People
One-on-one, they seem warm, friendly, and engaged. But the second other people show up? They switch personalities. They might abruptly become distant and show no interest. They begin to flatter someone else while disregarding you. When someone truly cares about you, they maintain the same kindness toward you regardless of who is present. People who flip their personalities on and off like a light switch are likely pretending.
Your Gut Tells You Something’s Off
Sometimes, you just feel it. You cannot pinpoint the reason but there’s something about them that feels unsettling. Their kindness appears artificial and their energy lacks authenticity. Your instincts are there for a reason. Trust that weird feeling about someone because your instincts are important. Fake nice people can fool others with their words and actions, but they can’t fake energy.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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