Someone who is being dishonest will often overuse certain phrases as they try to verbally manipulate you into thinking they are telling the truth.
Reassurance
“Trust me.”
When someone asks you to trust them, they’re basically asking you to turn off your logical thought process and trust them as a person instead. This is a form of social proof that attempts to cover up the weakness of a story with false credibility.
Someone being honest has no reason to ask you to trust them; if their story checks out, you’ll believe them. When used in a lie, trust me is a tool to create trust where none exists.
Forced honesty
“To be honest…”
This is probably the most frequently used verbal tell. When someone states that what they’re about to say is honest, they’re unwittingly implying that what they normally say is dishonest.
Most behavioral analysts consider this to be overcompensation. Oftentimes the facts of the story aren’t solid enough to hold up on their own, so they feel they need to assure us that what they’re saying is true by providing a verbal stamp of approval.
Abrupt ending
“That’s about it.”
This is a standard sentence people use to indicate they don’t want to be questioned further. If someone is uncomfortable where the conversation is going (usually because their made-up story is becoming strained), they will say “that’s about it” to indicate that the conversation topic has concluded.
Group pressure
“Everyone agrees with me.”
People love to use this phrase when they want their opinion to seem as though many people believe it too. People sometimes use this when they want you to agree with them without questioning what they’re saying.
It gives you the feeling that if you don’t agree with this person, you are the only one.
Careful wording
“To the best of my knowledge.”
This is a distancing phrase used mainly in business/legal settings when wanting to communicate information without actually owning up to its validity. It leaves room for plausible deniability if something is later revealed to be untrue.
One is technically not lying but just providing information they believe to be true from the knowledge they have been exposed to. It can be used honestly as a disclaimer, but liars also use it to give an answer without being accountable for the facts.
Quick escape
“I was just joking.”
People often use this to tell someone something brutally honest without facing the consequences. If they don’t object or get mad, it stays. If they take offense, then this phrase is used to invalidate how they feel by saying that they are too sensitive or don’t have a sense of humor.
This is also gaslighting used to place the responsibility of the interaction onto the other person.
Late confession
“I was going to tell you.”
This is often used as damage control after a secret has been revealed from someone who wishes to retain the moral high ground. If you were going to tell someone something, you would have already told them.
It’s as if they were trying to be honest the whole time, but circumstances prevented them, except that they weren’t. They were merely trying to take credit for telling the truth when they were actually forced to do it.
Dramatic oaths
“I swear on my life.”
Typically, the bigger and more emotional the statement, the less truth people will find in it. Truthful people normally don’t feel the need to make grandiose or emotionally driven promises when explaining themselves.
Swearing on your life, family, children, and reputation are all great ways to add intensity to a story you know won’t sound believable on its own. That’s why so many serial liars and people in the habit of bending the truth say it.
Convenient memory
“I forgot.”
We all forget things sometimes, but this phrase works best when a person simply does not want to tell the truth. This is easily one of the safest lies you can tell because no one can prove otherwise by peeking into your brain.
There is no need to concoct an elaborate story that can be challenged and disproven at a later date. It allows the liar to say nothing while remaining protected behind a wall of innocence.
Reverse logic
“Why would I lie?”
This phrase attempts to appeal to a person’s trust instead of using evidence to prove that you are being honest. Literally, the speaker is demanding you trust them without cause.
However, there are countless reasons and motives for lying. People lie because they are embarrassed, scared, feel proud, don’t want to get in trouble, or simply don’t want to appear stupid. Therefore, listeners tend to grow more suspicious when this question is posed.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.