A lot of stuff that we used to think was normal doesn’t really feel that normal anymore and this is especially true for younger people. They’re questioning the expectations & attitudes that older generations often just went along with, whether it’s about relationships, family, work, or identity. They’re making different choices and talking about them more openly with their peers. Here are twelve norms young people are challenging. For better or worse, it’s interesting to see how things are changing.
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Family Must Always Come First
More people in their 20s & 30s have moved away from the idea that they owe loyalty to family no matter what, with some cutting ties with their relatives because of long-term conflict. A lack of support or abuse is enough for young people to say goodbye to their family. Instead of automatically putting family first, young people choose to maintain their boundaries, even if it means going no-contact with their loved ones.
Work Should Give You Purpose
The idea that your job should be your passion doesn’t make sense for younger workers, with a growing number of them working to live instead of living to work. They don’t want to look for meaning in a job title or career ladder and, instead, are choosing to focus on hobbies & side projects. It’s not unusual for someone to say their job is fine but not what they care about most, which means they might clock out exactly at five. The job pays the bills and that’s all they expect from it.
Everyone Gets Married
Marriage used to be a standard part of adulthood, but that’s changing because younger adults aren’t rushing to tie the knot. Some say they don’t want the financial stress, while others say they’re happy in long-term relationships without making it legal. Either way, people just aren’t that interested in getting married anymore and may not see the point of a legal partnership. The pressure to find “the one” & get married before 30 isn’t there.
Adulthood Is a Checklist
Likewise, many people used to think that becoming an adult involved doing certain things in a specific order—like finishing school, getting married, buying a house & having kids. However, lots of people under 35 don’t follow that order or even do everything on that list. There’s not one path people are expected to follow now and instead of checking boxes, many do what makes sense for their situation without worrying about what others think.
Gender Is Just Two Boxes
More people believe they don’t fit into the labels of just male or female, with many Gen Z adults identifying as nonbinary or using more than one gender label. They’ll use pronouns like they/them more often and will talk about gender in ways that aren’t limited to biology or tradition. It’s no longer all that strange to meet someone who doesn’t follow gender expectations.
All People Want Kids
There’s a growing number of young people who say they don’t want children and refuse to see this as a phase or something they’ll change their mind about. For some, it’s the cost of raising a child that’s an issue, or their desire not to pass down trauma. For others, they’re concerned about the environment—either way, they’re being honest about their child-free ambitions. It’s much more normal to say “no thanks” to parenthood without needing to explain or defend the choice.
Your Boss Deserves Automatic Respect
Respect for authority at work used to be something you just gave, even if the manager was difficult, although that’s not the standard anymore. A lot of younger employees expect mutual respect at work with people higher up—they’re more willing to call out a rude boss, especially on Glassdoor or LinkedIn. Younger people are happy to treat managers like equals only if they’ve earned trust & respect through their behavior, not just their job title.
Monogamy Is the Default
Not everyone sticks to the one-partner rule and for a lot of people under 35, dating doesn’t always involve exclusivity as they’re in open relationships. Some have multiple partners & talk it through with everyone involved through scheduling, group chats and agreements. Rather than sneaking around or doing anything behind anyone’s back, they’ve created a setup that works just for them.
Politeness Means Staying Quiet
The whole idea of “just smile and let it go” doesn’t work for younger people and if something feels off, they’ll usually say so. This could involve correcting a stranger’s comment or telling a coworker they crossed a line—perhaps even texting back, “Hey, that actually bothered me.” However, it’s not because they’re looking for a fight, it’s just that they don’t think silence should be the default option and don’t want to pretend things are fine when they’re not.
You Have to Pick One Identity
Young people are no longer settling into one version of themselves anymore—one week, they’re designing tattoos and the next, they’re teaching yoga or building a mobile app. They’re fine with that because there’s no pressure to explain why they’re into five things at once or waiting around to “find themselves” first. They’re big believers in just doing what feels right at the moment and if that changes next year, that’s completely cool.
Drinking Just to Be Social
Many younger people have begun avoiding alcohol and not just on random “clean January” streaks. They’ll show up to the party & hang out while saying no to alcohol, without making a big scene, which is often because they don’t like how it feels. For some people, it’s just too expensive and they don’t believe in explaining themselves. Young people don’t see the point in pretending they’re into drinking to make anyone else more comfortable.
Talking About Money Is Rude
Discussion about salaries used to be off-limits, but now, you’ll see young people talking about their pay in group chats & social media posts—sometimes even during dating conversations. They’ll share how much they make and how much rent they’re paying, as well as what’s left in their checking accounts, although it’s not meant to be bragging. If someone’s being underpaid, they want to know and if a friend’s drowning in loans, they want to talk about it. There’s less shame around money & more emphasis on just being real about it.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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