A person’s true character is really important for a marriage, and some traits reveal that he simply can’t maintain a healthy, happy marriage, no matter how great he seems.
Inconsistent effort
Relationships take work, no matter how great the chemistry, and some guys will only put in work when it’s convenient.
If he goes hot and cold by sending you tons of flowers and gifts one week, then ghosting you or ignoring your calls the next week, he’s showing you that he’ll only make you a priority some of the time.
You don’t deserve someone who approaches your relationship like a hobby.
Deflecting blame
Men who point fingers instead of accepting responsibility will never improve themselves or the relationship.
If he constantly makes excuses, points out your mistakes when you try to tell him something he did wrong, or tries to make you feel like you’re the reason the two of you are fighting, he will never own up to anything.
He’ll always make you feel guilty, and you can’t build a mature life with someone who will never sincerely apologize.
Avoiding commitment
Actions speak louder than words. If he avoids defining your relationship, keeps you away from his family and friends, or freaks out when you bring up the future, he’s showing that he isn’t planning on settling down.
The man who loves you won’t hide you away; he’ll want you integrated into his life and chasing a future with you.
Poor boundaries
If he struggles to set limits on his friends, family, needy exes, or anyone else in his life, you’re going to constantly be butting heads. He should be your biggest supporter, and part of that is having the ability to say “no” to others if they cross you both.
If he can’t stand up for you when it matters, you’ll always feel as though you’re competing for his attention.
Financial immaturity
A relationship is a partnership, and that includes how you both handle money. If he lets you take care of all the bills, shows no interest in setting goals, or is secretive about where he spends his money, run for the hills.
Financial problems are one of the leading causes of divorce, and if he can’t be honest with you about his spending or plans for the future, expect plenty of arguments about money.
Disrespecting others
Pay attention to how he treats waiters, store clerks, people who walk behind him too slowly, and your own family members.
If he’s rude to others but sweet to you, his niceness is probably fake. A man reveals his character by how he treats those beneath him in his eyes. Eventually, he will turn that disrespect toward you.
Emotional unavailability
Someone can seem so nice but still leave you feeling emotionally starved. If he won’t open up about his feelings, fears, goals, or dreams, there’s a big emotional wall between you.
Yes, men should be a little mysterious, but your husband should also want to be your emotional partner. If he shuts down during heartfelt conversations, he will never give you the intimacy you deserve.
Controlling tendencies
Guys will try to disguise controlling behavior as looking out for you or taking care of you.
If he wants to know where you are 24/7, confiscates your phone, gets jealous when you spend time with your friends, or tries to control how you dress and what you say, that’s emotionally abusive.
Your partner should be enhancing your life, not ripping your friendships away from you.
Lack of ambition
He doesn’t have to be the next Bill Gates, but he should want to better himself and provide for you.
If he’s lazy, leaves all of the responsibility up to you, or consistently complains about how life is unfair, he’s likely to become more draining as time goes on. Everyone needs to carry their weight in a relationship.
Dishonesty
Little white lies lead to major cheating scandals. If you find yourself questioning his stories or realize he frequently lies about where he was or who he was with, you will never trust him again.
Trust is the foundation of a relationship, and if he’s searching for ways to bury the truth from you, that foundation will crumble.
Testing boundaries
Does he push you when you say “no”? Whether it’s intimacy, missing work, or invading your personal space, a man who does not respect your boundaries will continue to test them.
Someone who is truly interested in being with you will respect your wishes and communication. If he continuously tests your boundaries, he will never consider you his equal.
Narcissistic tendencies
We all like to feel important, but he should never make you feel like you revolve around him. If he needs constant reassurance, loves the sound of his voice more than anyone else’s, and struggles to be empathetic during your hardships, he loves no one but himself.
You can’t have a happy marriage if he loves himself more than you.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.