A man doesn’t need movie-star looks or a huge bank account to make a woman happy, but certain everyday habits can push her away.
The spotlight habit
Some men love to make every conversation about themselves. If his partner has a bad day at work, he instantly recounts something horrible that happened to him. If she tells him she won an award, he manages to redirect the conversation to himself.
Hearing this repeatedly from her partner can make a woman feel forgotten. Communication is not about who has the best story or opinion. Oftentimes, being a good listener, asking a great question and allowing a woman to feel heard is what matters most.
Two different faces
He can be friendly with coworkers, extra generous with friends, and super polite with strangers but may have zero tolerance when it comes to his partner. He tends to reserve his annoyances, nitpickiest criticism, and eye-rolling comments for her.
It cuts deep because he shows her that he can be respectful but simply chooses not to at home all the time. Being comfortable in a relationship shouldn’t make him allow himself to be rude to his partner.
The waiting game
One thing many women resent is having their partner view everyday responsibilities like a set of chores that have to be assigned to them. He may help with washing dishes, cooking dinner, or vacuuming if you ask nicely. But it’s still up to you to notice there’s a problem, solve the issue, and remember to delegate the task.
It’s not that men don’t help around the house enough. It’s that they don’t help with all of the thinking that needs to go along with it. A thoughtful partner anticipates when you are running out of groceries, remembers to schedule maintenance, and runs errands without your help.
Empty promises
One of the quickest ways to break trust is by making promises you never keep. It might be committing to come to some family function or promising to repair something in the house, or promising he will spend more time with her.
When someone makes promises they know they’ll forget or keep putting off, apologies start to ring hollow pretty fast. A woman doesn’t expect her partner to do everything perfectly, but many women do enjoy consistency. If a man promises he can do something and he does, that shows her that he means what he says.
Transactional affection
Affection loses its value when it’s only offered when someone needs something from you, whether it’s a favor, attention or sex. Some men aren’t very affectionate unless they’re getting something out of it.
Women then start wondering if they love him or if he’s just being loving to get what he wants. The closeness you feel emotionally increases when your partner gives affection with no motive.
Constant comparisons
Constant comparison to others can make a woman feel like she will never measure up. Some guys talk about how another woman dresses better, cooks well, makes more money, or doesn’t gain weight. Some may even put her down by comparing her to an ex-girlfriend or women they see online.
Even if he means for it to be harmless, comparisons can breed doubt in mind and lead to resentment. Both should be able to admire other people in the world without making each other feel inferior.
Dismissing problems
Something trivial to him can be very important to her. Many men brush off problems like forgotten anniversaries, family conflicts, or insensitive remarks by telling their partner that “it’s not a big deal.” Often, what happened may not even be the problem.
She may feel like whatever is bothering her isn’t worth considering. He doesn’t have to agree that something is a problem to be supportive. All he has to do is take the time to consider how she feels.
Seeking applause
Doing dishes, babysitting, and taking care of daily tasks around the house doesn’t always need to come with accolades. Some guys seem to think that performing normal tasks is some type of grand gesture that warrants applause every time. Everyone likes to feel appreciated in a relationship, but it goes both ways.
If he acts like basic household tasks deserve special praise, she’ll eventually feel taken for granted. Relationships should be about both parties understanding that taking care of a house and kids are responsibilities, not favors.
Hurtful jokes
Humor can be a great way to bond in a relationship, but putting a partner down over and over again is not. Some guys tease their girlfriends about how they look or act, or about their intelligence or spending habits. They laugh about her deepest insecurities when friends are around. When she protests, they tell her that she just needs to learn how to take a joke.
Teasing can be fine when two people who like to laugh at each other do it. What’s not okay is persisting after she’s told him the comments are hurtful. A caring partner realizes the difference between laughing with someone and laughing at someone you care about.
Winning arguments
Arguments drain energy when you see them as battles that need to be won. There are guys who treat every argument as a chance to prove their girlfriend wrong. They interrupt her, drag in unrelated mistakes from her past, or stretch the argument out well past the point where the issue is clear.
Sure, they may win the argument, but what good is that if they hurt the relationship? Healthy arguments are not about overpowering the other person. They’re about reaching an agreement that both parties can accept.
The silent wall
Not everyone is comfortable talking about feelings, but shutting down emotionally every time can cause a rift. Some guys stonewall when faced with a tough question or respond with sarcasm or “Nothing’s wrong” while acting like something is wrong. Their girlfriends wonder what happened and what they can do to fix it.
Being emotionally available doesn’t require you to verbalize every thought that enters your mind. And it doesn’t require you to turn every evening cuddle session into a heart-to-heart. But it does require that you be able to talk through what’s bothering you when you are hurt, fearful, or unsure about something that involves the two of you.
Phone addiction
Technology can sneak up on relationships when it becomes more important than the human being right next to you. Some men bury their faces in social media while eating dinner, glance at their phone when in conversations, or spend nights watching videos with minimal conversation.
There’s nothing wrong with liking technology or needing some alone time. The issue comes when your devices are interrupting you day in and day out. Many girls love spending time with their boyfriend and having their undivided attention, even if that means eating together, going on a walk, or simply talking.
Relationships planning
Some men never ask women out on dates, plan celebrations or propose things they can do together. Girlfriends and wives are left in charge of planning anniversaries, vacations, family gatherings, and trying to spice things up. Eventually, dating and romance become just another chore they have to do.
This doesn’t mean men have to plan an expensive night out or plan some huge surprise. All it takes is for a man to show he’s putting some effort into it, like picking someplace for a picnic, deciding on a movie, or planning a night together.
Empty apologies
An apology may sound heartfelt during the moment, but that meaning quickly fades when the behavior continues. Many men will apologize after arguments, vow to change, then revert back to old patterns days later. Their partners might grow to believe apologizing is just an easy way to stop awkward discussions instead of actually saying you’re sorry.
We all mess up and sometimes change is hard work. Genuine apologies include admitting the issue at hand and figuring out how to fix it so it doesn’t occur again.
Too comfortable
Thinking their girlfriend will always be with them no matter how ignored she may be is one of the worst habits a man can have in a long-term relationship. There are men out there who forget to say thank you, never give compliments, and take for granted all the little things a woman does.
However, feeling appreciated is something everyone needs regardless of how long you’ve been with that special person. Kind gestures, sweet words, and flirting can help that person know you care about them.
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