As a woman starts to emotionally disconnect from a relationship, she silently checks out of the relationship so she can have peace and keep up appearances.
Zero fights
An abrupt decrease in arguments may feel like great news, but the truth is, it’s usually the scariest sign. Fighting takes energy and hope that things can get better.
When she suddenly stops trying to confront you about issues or solve petty arguments, she’s checked out. She’s not with you on the issues; she simply doesn’t care enough to fight about them.
Low sharing
Little anecdotes about the day, venting about coworkers, or sharing insecurities are what stitch together your emotional connection. If she no longer shares her day with you, skips the small complaints, or doesn’t vent about petty things that are bothering her, she has shut you out from her world.
Solo plans
While it’s healthy in a marriage for spouses to have alone time, a quietly quitting spouse will start to create a whole other life without you knowing it. You’ll realize she makes more weekend plans, hobbies, and dinners with friends, family, or coworkers without asking you to join. She’s learning how to be happy alone.
Closed body
Physical intimacy is often the first thing to suffer when you create emotional distance, but it doesn’t stop there. Notice the small micro-affection cues: does she subtly resist when you go in for a hug, never hold hands, or sit with her body turned away from you on the couch? Her body is telling you she’s put up a barrier in her head.
Future blank
Couples will often talk about the future. It can be something as simple as a vacation next summer or where they’d like to live in five years. If she stops saying “we” about the future altogether or visibly tries to avoid locking herself in, she’s subconsciously keeping her options open. Future plans don’t include you because she’s living for today.
Phone shield
When she’s physically at home, her attention is always elsewhere. She’s always distracted by something, whether it be buried in her phone, tablet, or lost in a book. We all need downtime with screens, but she uses technology as a literal physical wall between you and any sort of meaningful interaction.
Independent joy
She doesn’t need you to cheer her up anymore and has found some other way to energize herself. Maybe she’s thrown herself into a new workout regimen, an intense career push, or picked up a creative hobby. You’ll see her mood shift as soon as she leaves you.
She doesn’t need you to fix things. Instead of waiting for you to give her what she needs, she’s finding it outside of marriage.
Micro manners
She’s gone from warm and fuzzy to cold, detached politeness. It feels more like you’re speaking to a coworker than your partner. You’ll still hear “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me.” But they’re said with no emotion whatsoever. She exchanges social niceties instead of hearing your concerns out of self-defense.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.