Childhood can have a permanent effect on our adult experience, sometimes even changing how we behave in unexpected ways. Let’s examine 11 behaviors that could be symptoms of underlying childhood trauma.
Perfection
Feeling like nothing you do is good enough could be perfectionism talking.
A person with unresolved trauma could stress about everything being perfect because, perhaps as children, they were made to feel they didn’t measure up or had to earn love & acceptance. So the need to be perfect sticks around.
Pleasing
Saying yes to everyone, even when you are worn out, isn’t just being nice, it’s a matter of survival.
Growing up in a home without unconditional love or security taught them to please everyone. Now that they are grown-ups, they might bend over backwards in order not to offend or appear good.
Numbness
You may be emotionally numb if your feelings never hit a high or low.
It’s like your brain flipped a switch when you were a child, to turn away from pain, and now it’s stuck in the other direction. It makes life feel flat even in the biggest moments.
Criticism
It hurts when people criticize you, but if feels like a personal attack every time, something’s wrong.
Perhaps you got criticized a lot or were judged for everything you did as a kid. Now, a simple remark could be seen as a needle in an old wound.
Trust
Do you always feel like people have something to hide? If the people who were supposed to protect you hurt you instead, you may have issues trusting people as an adult.
You’ve got this invisible wall that’s up, and you feel uncomfortable inviting anyone in.
Rest
Always on the go? Some people bury themselves in work or are busy 24 hours a day because the thought of easing up is dangerous.
If you’re busy, you don’t have time to dwell on childhood wounds or confront unpleasant emotions. It’s a sneaky way to escape from the past.
Validation
Always asking for validation could be an indicator of trauma.
Maybe it was because you were raised in a household where you needed to fight for praise or were never appreciated. Now, it’s like you have to have a stamp of approval before you can believe in yourself.
Control
You think that everything has to go your way, or the world will crumble around you.
That need to manage everything might be the consequence of being surrounded by chaos in childhood. When life became unpredictable as a child, you had to grab the reins to survive.
Abandonment
Both clinging too hard or pushing people away before they can leave could be related to a fear of abandonment.
If someone who mattered to you as a child wasn’t there for you, your brain will forever be waiting for it to happen again.
Self-Doubt
Always second guessing yourself is exhausting. Maybe that’s from being told as a child you weren’t good enough or constantly being criticized for what you’re doing.
Decision-making now seems like balancing on a cliff.
Confrontation
Conflict can be scary, especially if arguments growing up were loud, aggressive or even dangerous. Now, avoiding confrontation is the default way to feel safe.
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