With new technology and social norms, the rules of dating have drastically changed for men within the last decade.
Choosing solitude
Some men have opted out of the game altogether. They have chosen to stay single in order to maintain their sanity. Putting time, effort, and money into dating when you have little to no stability these days can be draining.
Why exhaust yourself when you can spend your energy working on your passions, staying healthy, and securing your own financial future by staying single? You can live however you want to without having to make time for someone else or compromise your routine.
Digital burnout
Dating has also become more difficult with the introduction of dating apps. Telling someone you like them in person can be nerve-racking, but scrolling through profiles and asking people to share intimate details about themselves based on a photo takes an art.
In this digital age, you have only seconds to make a good impression before someone can swipe right or left on you. There are millions of options for women on these apps, so the competition is tough, and many men have given up after receiving little to no matches or interest from women they thought were interested in them too.
Rising standards
Women today are more educated, financially independent, and socially empowered than any generation before them. And this has changed what they look for in a partner.
They are much more selective about who they allow into their lives. They are looking for high levels of kindness, shared values, and a partner who truly adds joy to their lives rather than just another paycheck.
This means that men who might have been considered great catches in the past just for having a steady job now find they must work much harder on their personality and communication to meet these new bars.
Avoiding risk
In an age where everyone has a cellphone and Instagram, many men have developed performance anxiety about approaching women in public.
What if they say something stupid or act too needy and it gets caught on video and goes viral? What if they’re harshly judged online or it costs them their job? It can be scary out there for guys who don’t want to deal with that type of pressure, so they say nothing at all.
These days, you’ll find fewer and fewer men reaching out to women at the coffee shop, gym, bookstore, etc. They’d much rather remain quiet than be shamed for simply speaking to a woman.
Hidden lives
Many of the men who would actually make excellent partners are simply not in the places where people are looking for them. Chances are, if he’s a good man, he’s working hard at his career.
He’s either busy perfecting his craft, working towards his degree, spending time with family, or giving back to his community.
He’s not at the bar every night getting wasted or staring into his phone trying to look cool for Instagram. He’s living a quiet life that many people wouldn’t notice because he’s busy working on himself.
Role confusion
Back in the day, men and women had their own set of rules. Men were the providers and women waited at home. Today, everyone is confused about what their role should be.
Some people will tell you to be a man and take the lead. Others will tell you, women these days like a man who waits for them to make the first move.
There are so many different views when it comes to dating that it’s like walking through a minefield if you don’t know what you’re doing.
Seeking elsewhere
There are more men searching for women in other countries than ever before. Some men have given up on the dating scene in their city and believe women elsewhere will be more accepting of their personality.
They may find countries that value traditional family structure more or ones that have less of a “game” feeling to social situations.
Healing phase
Many men are taking years-long breaks from dating to focus on their mental health. Times have changed, and guys know better than to jump straight into a new relationship after getting ghosted, dumped, or divorced.
There’s a lot of emotional baggage that guys carry that they don’t want to bring to a relationship and affect the next woman they care about. So while these men will make great partners in the future, they are strictly off the market as they go to therapy and focus on themselves.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.