Canadians eat many of the same foods as Americans, but every once in a while, Canadians come across a dish that baffles them as to how it became popular.
Spray cheese
Cheese in a can is one of those oddly American things that always confuses Canadians. It’s convenient, and there are a lot of people who love it, but we Canadians have a hard time finding the cheese in cheese in a can.
The processed texture, chemical aftertaste, and ability to shoot cheese directly from its cylindrical packet onto your cracker make spray cheese seem less of an edible product and more of a trick.
American Smarties
Offer a Canadian a “Smartie” while in the United States and they will instantly be disappointed. Canadian Smarties are sweet, milk chocolate discs, rolled in candy. (They’re basically like M&Ms, but better.) The US version of Smarties is chalky, sour, pressed powder tablets. Canadians actually call these Rockets.
High-fructose bread
Walking down an average aisle in a US grocery store can be a huge assault on the Canadian taste buds. Regular American breads (white and wheat) often have high-fructose corn syrup in them. This means your everyday sandwich tastes suspiciously like cake. Canadians prefer less sweet, more savoury breads and are repelled by the sugary flavour profile of American bread.
Biscuit gravy
To Canadians, gravy is a holy, savory liquid concoction made from rich beef, chicken, or turkey stock like the kind you douse over your perfect poutine.
America’s southern white biscuit, smothered in flour-heavy gravy dotted with chunks of pork sausage, looks and tastes unappealingly dense, pasty and visually unappealing.
Grits
Grits are comfort food all across much of the American South. However, grits can be an acquired taste for Canadians. Consisting of ground corn cooked into a porridge, grits are commonly eaten with eggs, bacon, shrimp, or cheese. Canadians who expect grits to taste like mashed potatoes or oatmeal may be put off by how bland they are.
Sweet tea
When you order “iced tea” in Canada, you will always get a clean, crisp, refreshing, lightly sweetened beverage (typically with some lemon flavor added to it, like brisk). Order “Sweet Tea” in the American South and you will get a thick, sticky, tooth-decaying concoction dripping with sugar.
Rocky Mountain Oysters
Rocky Mountain oysters don’t sound so fancy once people learn exactly what they are. Fried bull testicles are considered a delicacy in some parts of the American West. Canadians will try them if dared, or for bragging rights, but most lose their gusto quickly.
Velveeta
Canadians love their processed food staples like Kraft Dinner, but Americans take cheese products to weirdly excessive lengths with Velveeta. A slimy, shelf-stable brick that melts into an obscene, over-processed dip is just too far for lovers of real cheese blocks.
Kool-Aid pickles
Kool-Aid pickles are one of those foods that tend to confuse Canadians. Made by soaking pickles in sweet fruit-flavoured drink mix, they end up bright coloured and bursting with sour, salty and sugary goodness. Just looking at them is off-putting to many. People who try them say it’s an experience you don’t forget. But that doesn’t mean it’s a good experience.
Hershey’s Kisses
They may look cute and appetizing in holiday films, but actually tasting an American-made Hershey’s Kiss can make Canadians regret their life decisions. Too often chalky or powdery instead of smooth, its flavour is dominated by sugar and butyric taste instead of rich cocoa.
Fast-food poutine
Attempts by American fast-food chains or diners to duplicate Canada’s national dish always seem to go horribly awry. Canadians enforce a zero-tolerance level for poutine made with shredded cheddar or mozzarella cheese blend instead of fresh squeaky cheese curds or glopped with a tepid, milky brown gravy.