Narcissists have a way of making you question yourself. They use certain words & phrases to confuse you and take control over you. In the long run, such phrases leave you doubting yourself, your thoughts, your emotions, and even your memories. This is called gaslighting – it’s an emotional exploitation. The idea is to have you doubt everything, so they can maintain control. Here are 10 phrases used by narcissists to control and gaslight others.
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“You’re Too Sensitive”
This phrase makes you feel like it’s your feelings that cause problems. It is how narcissists get you to ignore their hurtful actions and not be held accountable for them. If you say their actions upset you, they instantly turn it around and say you’re being hypersensitive. Over time, you may find yourself thinking you’re being unreasonable when in fact you’re not. That’s how they keep you silent and doubt yourself.
“That Never Happened”
Narcissists deny reality to confuse you. If you mention something they did — they will tell you that didn’t happen. Even if you have proof, they’ll still say you are wrong. That’s a tactic to make you question your memory & lose confidence in yourself. In time, you’ll even wonder if you can trust what you already know.
“You’re Imagining Things”
They use this phrase to tell you that your concerns are unfounded. If you notice something amiss and speak up — they’ll tell you you’re seeing issues that do not exist. This can make you paranoid or insecure. Gradually, you might stop addressing problems altogether – believing you are always wrong.
“No One Else Thinks That”
Narcissists use this expression to isolate you. They would like you to think that you are weird or stupid. By claiming nobody else shares your opinion – they label you as an outsider. That is an attempt to shut you up & have you rely on their approval. You might come to wonder whether your ideas even matter.
“You’re Overthinking It”
When you raise legitimate worries, they dismiss them with this phrase. It makes you feel like you’re making a fuss about nothing. Narcissists want you to think that what’s wrong is not how they act but how you think. You may eventually be afraid to share your opinion — out of fear of getting called out as overthinking or difficult.
“You’re The Only One Who Has A Problem With This”
This trick will make you feel like you’re alone in your concerns. They want you to feel like you’re the odd one out. If they tell you that other people are okay with it, it creates doubt in your mind – you begin to wonder whether you’re being unreasonable. That stops you questioning them and lets them take the lead.
“You’re Crazy”
This phrase is an attack on your mental stability. Narcissists use it to completely invalidate your perspective. It’s designed to make you doubt your own sanity. When repeated often enough, it will make you feel powerless and decoupled from reality. You might begin to doubt everything you do or say – allowing them to do what they want.
“You’re Just Trying To Start A Fight”
Narcissists accuse you of creating drama if you try to talk about a serious issue. This makes you feel bad for speaking up at all. It shifts the blame away from them & onto you. In time, you may not even mention problems to keep peace. This silence makes them more powerful.
“I’m Only Joking. Don’t Take It So Seriously”
Narcissists often cover up hurtful remarks with jokes. When you call them out and they say you’re overthinking harmless humor — This is a way that they can insult you and not have to face the consequences. It also leaves you wondering whether you’re being too sensitive. After a while, you may not respond to their negative comments at all.
“You’re Remembering It Wrong”
That phrase makes you feel that your memory isn’t good. Even when you’re sure of what you are talking about — they will say you are wrong. This tactic erodes your confidence. As time goes by, you might become doubtful of what actually happened. It gives them leverage to twist the narrative and leave you uncertain.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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