We’d all like to think that communication simply involves talking but it’s so much more than that. You have to truly connect with others. Even if you think you’re rather good at it, there are subtle skills that you could be missing because these details usually fly under the radar. Here are ten key communication skills that you might not have. Of course, if you do have these skills, then that’s great. Just take this as a chance to polish them even further!
Featured Image Credit: DmitriyAnaniev /Depositphotos.com.
Reading Microexpressions
If you’ve ever noticed a quick flash of emotion on someone’s face that disappears almost instantly, that’s called a microexpression. They’re tiny facial movements that show what’s really going on beneath the surface. Pay close attention to any slight changes around someone’s eyes or mouth. While they last only a fraction of a second, you’ll get a better sense of someone’s true feelings. Look closely!
Recognizing Personal Biases
Of course, we all have our own biases, even if we don’t realize it. These affect how we interpret what others say & how we respond so be mindful of your own ones! Before you jump to conclusions, pause to think about whether your own perceptions are affecting your reactions. When you acknowledge your biases, you’ll communicate more genuinely. People like to talk to people who know their own limits.
Mastering the Pause
We’ve all been in conversations where we’re eager to respond right away. However, taking a moment to pause before speaking gives you time to gather your thoughts & make sure your reply is relevant. It also shows the person you’re talking to that you’re really thinking about what they’ve said. And all it takes is a few seconds!
Embracing Silence
Similarly, we often rush to fill every gap in a conversation, even though a bit of silence is rather powerful. During that moment of quiet, you’re giving other people the chance to think and maybe share more thoughtful responses. As such, try letting a few seconds pass before you jump into the conversation. You might be surprised at how the conversation changes.
Adjusting Your Communication Style
Since no two people are the same, you should adjust the way you communicate depending on the person you’re talking to. Pay attention to how the other person talks. Rather than changing who you are, think of it as being flexible in your approach. It doesn’t matter if you’re talking to your boss or a close friend—adjusting your style makes your message clearer and helps you connect.
Recognizing Communication Filters
Everyone sees the world through their own lens. As such, when you’re talking, you should keep in mind that people might interpret what you say differently. How might your words come across to someone who doesn’t have the same background or viewpoint? Try choosing words that are more neutral or explain things more clearly. This way, you’ll avoid misunderstandings.
Emotional Regulation
Keeping your emotions in check when you’re talking to someone helps a lot. If you’re feeling angry or stressed, try taking a deep breath before you respond because it’ll help you calm down & think more clearly about what you want to say. As such, you’ll stop your emotions from taking over. That could make the situation worse!
Using “I” Statements
When you’re trying to express how you feel, using “I” statements is much better than pointing fingers with comments like “You never listen.” Instead, you might say, “I feel like I’m not being heard when I’m interrupted.” It puts the focus on your own feelings—rather than blaming the other person—which reduces defensiveness. Essentially, it makes the conversation more open.
Using Positive Language
Likewise, the way you phrase things affects how people receive them. For example, when making requests or giving feedback, stick to positive language to make people more accepting of what you’re saying. Instead of saying, “Don’t make a mess,” try saying, “Let’s keep this area tidy.” Doing so makes what you’d like to happen more important than what you don’t want.
Avoiding Overuse of Filler Words
Most of us use filler words like “um,” “like” & “you know” without even realizing it! While they might seem harmless, they distract from the point you’re trying to make and that’s why you should work on reducing them. Feel a filler word coming on? Take a pause. Collect your thoughts and then your speech will sound more confident.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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