Marriage takes effort from both partners, and these are some of the biggest reasons couples end up going their separate ways.
Trust broken
When one partner cheats, they break the foundation of trust that a marriage is built on and cause emotional harm that some couples will never get over.
But it’s not just the physical aspect of cheating that wreaks havoc on a marriage; the thought and premeditation that goes into the act can ruin your partner’s sense of security and self-esteem. Although some couples can forgive with enough therapy, losing trust in a partner is often the death of a marriage.
Financial strain
Finances are perhaps the number one topic that couples fight about on a day-to-day basis. When two people have radically different values about spending versus saving money, there is always a cloud of anxiety about debt, job loss, or clandestine shopping trips. Stress and bitterness can dominate the relationship when partners constantly fight about money.
Poor communication
Communication isn’t healthy when it regularly involves screaming matches, angry silences, or emotional stonewalling. If you can’t ask for what you need and work through normal conflict, you and your partner will likely feel misunderstood, rejected, and incredibly alone. Healthy communication issues can cause small daily arguments to compound over time.
Lost intimacy
Gradually, some partners become distant and unaffectionate. Living hectic lives and letting stress and mundane daily activities substitute for hugs, kisses, and heart-to-heart talks can change a couple. Before they know it, they begin to feel more like housemates than husband and wife.
If each person starts to feel lonely, unappreciated, or emotionally starved, the marriage will start to crack.
Early marriage
If you marry young, you commit yourself to another person before you have figured out who you are or what you want to be. People change as they mature into their adult selves in their 20s.
Your core values, priorities, and personality can shift in opposite directions. It’s hard to want to spend the rest of your life with someone if you realize that you have both become incompatible adults.
Unmet expectations
Having unrealistic expectations of your spouse and your life together is a recipe for disappointment. If you always want your partner to be something other than who they are or do everything to please you, you will never be satisfied.
No relationship will live up to your romantic expectations. Everyday life will always fall short of your ideal vision.
Substance abuse
When someone has an alcohol, drug, or gambling addiction, it puts an unsafe and often chaotic lifestyle into the home. Marriage is built on trust and when one person is pouring their time and finances into their addiction, the other spouse picks up the pieces.
They find themselves playing the caretaker role more often than not. They also watch their spouse drain their bank account and home and eventually leave due to the heartache, lies, and unsafe environment for their family.
Domestic abuse
Physical, verbal or emotional abuse wreaks havoc on a person’s well-being and safety. Many times a person stays in this type of relationship due to manipulation, fear, and low self-esteem. It usually takes outside help and strength from within to leave an abusive relationship. Divorce is needed in this type of situation to protect yourself.
Unequal load
A power imbalance occurs when one person does the majority of the heavy lifting when it comes to responsibilities around the house, kids, communication, etc. The spouse who is doing more will eventually burn out. They will feel underappreciated by their partner, who they will start to view as needy, rather than a teammate.
Family interference
Partners might feel torn between their spouse and their parents if there are poor boundaries with the in-laws or extended family. If one spouse takes their parents’ side more often than not, that means there is a lack of standing by your partner and unity in the marriage.
Incompatible goals
Through decades of marriage, individuals can gradually develop vastly different ideas about their futures. This could be children, career goals or how they want to live their lives. If one partner wants nothing more than to plant roots and the other thrives on picking up and moving every few years, trying to meet in the middle can seem like losing oneself.
Like our content? Be sure to follow us.