Canadians aren’t typically given to loud arguments, but there are a few American assumptions that will always get them eye-rolling.
Best healthcare
Americans love to brag that they have the best healthcare in the world. High-tech hospitals and lack of wait times for those who can afford it are bragging points.
Canadians scoff at this claim because no Canadian citizen will go broke if they break their leg or get cancer. Canada’s single-payer system isn’t perfect, but its best doesn’t mean millions of uninsured citizens.
Free speech
So many Americans act like they’re the only country where a person can voice their opinion without getting thrown in jail. Canada has a constitution called the “Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms” that does exactly that.
Canadians find it exhausting to hear Americans imply that living under any other democratic government is living in a dictatorship.
World series
Major League Baseball calls its championship winners the “World Champions.” This makes Canadians laugh because the league plays almost exclusively in America and the Toronto Blue Jays have won it twice.
Canadians think that’s incredibly vain and a classic sign of main character syndrome.
Metric system
Americans love telling Canadians the metric system is stupid or too hard to learn. They use inches, feet, and Fahrenheit. Canadians, who use Celsius and meters, think it’s hilarious that one of the most advanced nations on Earth still uses antiquated measurements like “king’s thumbs” and “barleycorns.”
Only freedom
America loves to say they are the “only truly free country in the world.” Canadians consistently rank among the top countries for Human Freedom and Quality of Life worldwide. Tell a Canadian they aren’t free because they have stricter gun laws or higher taxes, and it’s a guaranteed eye-roller.
Purest English
Some Americans will try to convince you that their accent is standard or the way English is supposed to be spoken. Canadians know this isn’t true because American accents are wildly unique and even reflect regional variations.
For the most part, Canadians think they speak the best English because it’s a mix of British and American without extremely strong regionalisms.
Beer quality
For years, Americans bragged that their light lagers were the most refreshing beer, while Canadians said they were watered down. Canadians have long boasted of their higher alcohol content, full-flavoured commercial beers.
Americans have since improved their craft beer culture but you will still find Canadians scoffing at the idea of weak American beer at the bars.
Winning wars
Americans like to take full credit for winning global conflicts such as WWI and WWII. Canadians take great pride in their military history and the fact that they actually joined the war years before America did. They find it ironic when they hear the U.S. confidently say how they saved the world all by themselves.
Thanksgiving roots
Americans love to tell Canadians that Thanksgiving is solely an American tradition centered around pilgrims and the Mayflower. The first-ever Thanksgiving in North America was celebrated in Canada 43 years prior to the pilgrims. Since Canada celebrates Thanksgiving in October, telling Canadians, “It’s not Thanksgiving there!” is kind of too late.
Geography skills
The stereotype that Americans know nothing of the world around them, including Canada, is not far from the truth. Canadians frequently get asked if they live in igloos and know “Dave from Vancouver” (even if they live somewhere else), as if they don’t know their closest neighbours. How Americans can lack basic knowledge of their largest trading partner is baffling and entertaining to Canadians.
Highest taxes
Americans often whine that Canadians pay outrageous taxes in order to support ridiculous social services. Canadians will argue back that when you tally up American health insurance premiums, deductibles, and college tuition, your cheaper American dream home starts to disappear. Plus, paying a little more in taxes means better coverage, which sounds good to Canadians.
Best cheese
When asked about their favourite cheese, many proud Americans say American Cheese. But it’s not real cheese. Canada has rigorous dairy standards and loves their extra sharp cheddars from Quebec and cheese curds, so the processed yellow slices from the U.S. don’t compare. Tell a Canadian your processed cheese food is the best, and you’ll earn yourself a smirk.
Global influence
Americans like to think that what happens in the States is news everyone should be consuming. Canadians have no choice but to follow along with American politics because it affects their economy, but they do not enjoy the “if it didn’t happen in America, it didn’t happen” mentality. They just wish Americans would browse international news once in a while, which doesn’t involve the White House.
Winter hardiness
Residents of the northern American states like to think they’re “tough” because they get a few inches of snow. It’s cute to Canadians who live where the temperature can reach -40°C in their major cities. When cities like Atlanta shut down for a snow dusting, Canadians can’t help but laugh from inside their much deeper snowbanks.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.