Psychologists say that one can identify a truly good man by observing the little things he does on a day-to-day basis that allow his partner to completely trust and respect him.
Emotional regulation
He can deal with conflict in a way that doesn’t involve him yelling, giving you the silent treatment, or exploding. If he gets mad/upset/frustrated, he can take a moment to cool off and sort out his emotions so that he can then calmly express what he needs.
Someone who doesn’t fly off the handle when they’re upset, but rather can keep their cool, is emotionally mature and gives you a safe and stable environment for a relationship.
Accountability
He takes full responsibility for his actions. This means he doesn’t make excuses or blame others when he makes mistakes. He doesn’t turn it into a conversation of “you did this, so I did that.” He knows that apologizing is a strength, not a weakness.
Moreover, he knows how to apologize and look for ways to rectify the situation. He learns from his mistakes instead of hiding them. This proves that he wants to be better every day.
Consistent reliability
He knows that trust happens in the everyday moments, not just the big grand gestures; little things like showing up on time, completing household chores he promised to do, or even just being there when times are tough.
His actions line up with his words every time. You never question if he will keep his promises because dependability is his middle name.
Boundaries
He doesn’t treat your “no” like a game to win or a slight to his masculinity. Your boundaries are sacred to him because they give him insight about who you are and what you need to feel safe.
Whether it’s about your space, your time, or your opinions, he honors them. He never makes you feel guilty or bad for setting boundaries with him. He knows that healthy relationships are two whole people, not two halves coming together.
Empathy
Pay attention to how he treats those who can do nothing for him, like waitresses, strangers, or even animals. A good man is courteous and kind to everyone he meets.
He doesn’t just show respect when he wants something from you or wants you to like him. It’s who he is, not an act for your benefit.
Support
He doesn’t feel insecure about your accomplishments, your self-sufficiency, or your growth. In fact, he cheers you on. He’s proud of your successes, whether they’re career-related or personal.
He gives you a healthy foundation of support to branch out and discover who you are. This is because he’s secure in who he is that he doesn’t feel the need to one-up you or shrink you down.
Active listening
He doesn’t interrupt you to give you advice or wait for his chance to speak. You know he’s listening because he’ll ask questions about what you’ve said.
He also remembers little things you told him days or even weeks before, like how you like your coffee or updates on a project you’re working on at the office. He makes you feel as if your thoughts and opinions matter just as much as his.
Authentic vulnerability
He isn’t afraid to express his sensitive side and let you know when he’s frightened, feels uncertain, or is hurting. When he allows himself to be genuine about being human and having weaknesses, you know you can be vulnerable with him, too.
Emotional availability is sometimes that last bit of glue needed to form an inseparable connection because it shows he is trusting you with his whole, authentic self.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.