9 ways technology is alienating you from your grandkids

These days, it’s hard to imagine life without technology for those who’ve grown up with it and that includes your grandkids. From preschoolers to adolescents, life for your grandchildren has been saturated with smartphones, social media, and video games since they were toddlers.

However, this reliance on technology has the unfortunate side effect of attracting attention away from the real world. If you’ve discovered there’s a disconnect between you and your grandkids, that you can’t read their signals any longer, technology might be the culprit.

Your grandkids are right there. But chances are you’re looking in the wrong place. Solving the mystery of how you lost your grandkids begins with understanding where technology may be preventing connection; and what you can do about it.

Let’s explore 9 ways that technology might be alienating you from your grandkids.

Constant Distraction by Devices

Of course it’s frustrating; you’re spending precious time with your grandkids, but they’re texting friends, playing Pac-Man or scrolling. You feel you must compete with a screen for grandchildren’s attention, and it wears on the relationship.

Gradually, your bond fades, as the stories you share and the looks you exchange are briefly interrupted by technology.

Different Communication Styles

Your grandkids might communicate differently than you do or how you used to. They’re more likely to text a couple of quick sentences or maybe even an emoji rather than call you up.

You might find it hard to keep up with their lightning-fast digital exchanges, which can leave you feeling excluded. Adopt their style while still encouraging more personal, in-depth conversations if possible.

Less Face-to-Face Interaction

Since more and more interactions are taking place through technology, it is likely that your grandkids will be more at ease with texting or online video chatting, rather than actually meeting face-to-face.

Maybe not as warm, but digital interactions that require you to look at each other’s face can help make up for a faraway relationship.

Encouraging in-person visitation or brainstorming fun activities you can do together can keep the connection strong.

Technology as a Replacement for Family Time

Your grandkids might be the first generation to use video games, social networking, streaming videos and other technologies as a surrogate for family time.

Maybe they’d rather catch up with someone they have not seen in five years on Instagram, rather than have dinner with the relatives visiting from another state last weekend.

Technology has replaced the rituals that helped families bond closely during an era typified by dinnertime conversations, leisurely vacations and family outings on the weekends.

Feeling Intimidated by Technology

No one wants to be overwhelmed; it’s normal to feel a bit shaky at the increasingly accelerated pace of technological innovation around us, as well as how fluently your grandkids seem to master new devices and apps. A

ll of these factors might well make you feel intimidated about wanting to use the very tech tools your grandkids use themselves, perhaps even pulling away. You might not want to make an error that makes you look stupid or that you don’t know how to fix or walk away from.

Challenges in Sharing Life Stories

What better way to connect with your grandkids than to talk about your life, your experiences, your family’s history? For many, the stories are part of an effort to pass along knowledge from one generation to another.

Unfortunately, technology often works against us when it comes to achieving this, either by getting in the way (they’re looking at their own devices) or by putting us at a disadvantage.

Often, the screen is the only way to keep their attention. Unless we’re willing to transition from grandparents to live-action Pokémon, we’re out of luck and it can be discouraging.

Privacy and Security Concerns

For a grandparent, privacy and security concerns associated with technology and being online might play a larger role. Your own caution, in light of those concerns, creates a different mindset than your grandkids when it comes to the digital spaces.

While your teen or young adult grandkids may be more laissez-faire about their digital footprints, your nervousness about being online may lead to your feeling left out of the bigger conversation.

Tech-Savvy Independence

Technology is so powerful that our grandkids have grown up in a world where almost everything needed for a good life has a quick-fix, internet solution.

They get the answer to a question, they learn to solve and fix, they can train themselves from almost anything.

This does make them quite independent, so they’re not as likely to look to you for support or advice.

Trend Chasing

The things that thrill your grandkids change with dizzying speed. Something that they are rabid over one day will be unceremoniously dumped as yesterday’s news the next.

A rapid pace of change requires that you as a grandparent stay bold and nimble in order to remain one of their go-to. Ask, with genuine interest, about their changing hobbies and trends.

Willingly embrace the upgrade of their personal technology to something newer and better, even if that means you have to have some tutorials in order to use it.