You might not realize it, but there are some phrases you could be using to dominate other people. It doesn’t matter whether you’re at work or at home.
Language researchers have found that we use some everyday lines to assert control & set boundaries with others, and here are ten of these phrases. Which one is your favorite?
“You need to…”
Saying “you need to” is something that linguistic researchers call “directive language.” You’re quite literally giving someone an obligation that they need to complete.
Such directive language works as power because it clearly states what the listener is expected to do, rather than giving them a choice.
“I’m going to stop you there”
Whenever you want to take control of the situation, try saying something like “I’m going to stop you there.” Language researchers have found that those who interrupt tend to have more power.
Those who are seen to have power, even if they don’t have it, tend to interrupt more. Why not try it yourself?
“Let’s be clear…”
You can frame the rules by saying, “Let’s be clear…” or “Let me be clear…” It sets things up so that you, as the speaker, are defining the terms, and it’s something that discourse analysts have looked into.
They’ve found that phrases such as these count as institutional speech. They show that the speaker is asserting how the other people will understand things. That’s quite powerful.
“As I already said…”
Most people don’t realize how much strength there is in saying something like “As I already said…” It’s a way of referring back & making your earlier statement the anchor point of the conversation.
According to conversational scholars, it’s an important part of self-referencing. You’re reinforcing your earlier point and limiting the chance of reinterpretation.
“That’s not how this works”
Do you want the whole situation to stop & work on your terms? Then try saying, “That’s not how this works,” although make sure you don’t shout it. It should be firm enough to replace whatever else is happening.
At least, that’s what research on corrective talk claims, since these phrasing patterns usually show who’s actually controlling the conversation.
“Here’s what’s going to happen”
A person who says “Here’s what’s going to happen” has directly put themselves in the project’s driver’s seat. Workplace studies call such statements “future-oriented instructions.”
Such phrases work as a form of social dominance because they make it clear what the plans are. No ifs & no buts.
“That’s not the point”
People use “That’s not the point” when they want to stop the conversation from going off-track. It’s something only powerful people use.
Using this phrase re-centers everything onto your preferred issue, and social dominance research says the person saying it gets to redefine the “point.” Their point becomes the entire conversation.
“Let me explain this to you”
Nobody asked for a breakdown. Yet you might still say something like “Let me explain this to you” because it makes the conversation more like a teacher-student interaction, even when you’re among equals.
It’s a big part of workplace conversations, according to research. The line makes it seem as though there’s an uneven knowledge balance.
“Everyone knows…”
Most people who say, “Everyone knows…” don’t really care whether it’s true or not. They’ll use it in offices or family conversations to make their statement feel settled. Quite a few language researchers have looked into phrases like these.
They claim that such appeals to common knowledge work as a shortcut for asserting authority by assuming group agreement.
“This is non-negotiable”
Don’t forget about how you close the conversation. A saying like, “This is non-negotiable” creates a closed door that stops the other person from asking follow-up questions. They don’t even get a token pause.
Research shows that creating a boundary, rather than a suggestion, gives you power. You’re the one making decisions in structured conversations.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article