It seems that a large portion of social norms aren’t about being real, but about fitting in. But all these can leave us feeling alienated from ourselves. They can prevent us from developing honest relationships. Here, we’ll explore a few of these widespread fake-it-till-you-make-it habits. See how they can make life miserable, and how you might want to escape them in order to live a better & more authentic life.
Pretending to Have It All Together
There is always this pressure for us to act that everything is good and life is perfectly under our control. But the truth is, most people don’t have perfect lives. They’re just figuring it out as they go. We often see the polished version of others in social media or out in public. But guess what’s going on behind closed doors? Everybody’s going through struggles. So the expectation of having to be the person who ‘has it all together’ creates this extra stress.
Always Saying “I’m Fine”
‘I’m fine’ is the reflex response to the question: ‘How are you?’ We’ve all said it a million times when things were less than fine. Society wants us to be positive and pretend that everything is fine. We also feel that other people shouldn’t be burdened with our grief and struggles. So we pretend that we’re fine and miss out on the chance to get support.
Keeping Up with Fashion Trends
Society often pressurizes people to dress in a certain way; to be stylish or accepted. However, it can be very expensive and pricey to keep up with the trends and sometimes exhausting. Fashion is very much about representing yourself. A lot of people follow trends without finding out what their own personal style really is. But confidence comes from wearing what you feel comfortable in, and not what’s considered popular.
Following the Path to “Success”
There is a ready-made formula for success that many people are told to follow: get a degree, get a career, buy a house, have a family and so on. This plan is not right for everybody – and following it just for appearance’s sake can lead to dissatisfaction. Success is personal and looks different for everyone. Trying to conform to someone else’s version of it is not the same as the real thing. You might just find that you are living a life that you don’t recognize as your own.
Always Smiling to Appear Friendly
Forced smiling can feel fake, especially when it doesn’t match how someone is feeling. The truth is that, you don’t have to be chipper 24/7 to forge lasting, sincere connections – sometimes letting your guard down and coming across as real and vulnerable can actually result in relationships that feel more trustworthy.
Pretending to Be Busy
People often complain about being busy. Many times, these people seem to glorify their feelings of being ‘busy’. Sometimes, people are busy doing important things, but often, being busy is a way to claim status – whether that status is related to the perception of being important, capable, or both. This constant effort to look busy can lead to a lot of stress & take away time from things that actually matter.
Agreeing with Popular Opinions
It can be tempting to go along with what everyone else thinks – especially on hot topics – just to avoid conflict. Suppressing your true opinions, however, can feel suffocating. In addition – it’s hard to have sincere discussions when you’re not saying what you feel. Expressing a different viewpoint leads to more interesting discussions & helps others to understand you better.
Putting on a Positive Face at All Times
The ‘positive vibes only’ trend is so intense that it feels like people should never be negative. But this does not leave space for normal, negative feelings. Being real about ups and downs is healthy. When you fake it till you make it – and only put out sunshine and rainbows – you are largely avoiding your negative emotions and can experience emotional burnout. You should be accepting of positive and negative feelings, which can help you feel more balanced and true to yourself and others.
10 Canadian gestures and social cues Americans often misread
Your Canadian friend suddenly hesitates with food, and someone in Quebec flashes a hand sign that lands the wrong way. Why?
10 Canadian gestures and social cues Americans often misread