Families make rules for many reasons. Sometimes to keep the peace, sometimes to make things “fair,” and sometimes because someone decided it’s easier that way. Yet not all rules are created equally. We spoke to a psychologist & they had some interesting things to say. Here are fourteen rules that ruin sibling relationships. Which of these would’ve made you snap first?
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No speaking during certain car rides
You might’ve heard your parents tell you to stop talking in the car because they’re focusing. It sounds harmless. That is, until you’re stuck next to your sibling who’s allowed to ask a quick question about practice or to borrow a charger. You’re forced to bite your tongue. But they get a free pass. It’s not fair.
Chores assigned by age only
Not all households swap chores around. In fact, they’ll keep them fixed for life. The older kid gets the heavy-duty stuff & the younger gets the easy stuff. It may seem efficient, but it’s not right. One person will have a lot of homework to do & still have to scrub the bathroom. As for the other? They’re able to fold two towels and call it a day. There are no trade-offs & no breaks.
Punishment for one means punishment for all
The “we’re a team” approach works most of the time. But then your sibling does something wrong and, suddenly, you’re not able to do what you want. Such a rule is supposed to encourage you to keep each other accountable. Yet it doesn’t really do that. You just end up blaming the other sibling for everything & may come to hate them. Ouch.
Mandatory sharing of gifts
Once you finally get that gadget you’ve been eyeing for months, you’re not even able to use it. It’s now family property. The rule says that all gifts must be shared. So within a week, it’s covered in your sibling’s fingerprints & crumbs. You can’t even say no to it. You’ll be the selfish one if you do.
No eating until everyone is home
It doesn’t matter that you’re starving after school. Dinner’s at 7 o’clock because your sibling’s at practice, no minute earlier. You’re allowed to have a piece of fruit before then. And that’s all. It’s worse when they’re late & it honestly feels like torture.
Equal time with friends
Some families track how much time each child spends with their friends. This way, both kids get the same number each week, which is meant to keep things fair. It doesn’t. Soon enough, you’re not able to go out because your sibling hasn’t had their turn. You’ll have to cancel plans instead. How is that okay?
Birthday celebrations are combined
Both siblings have the same cake & themes for birthdays. It doesn’t matter that you actually want different things. Somehow, you have to find something to agree on, and one sibling always gives in more. One person’s birthday becomes whatever. They’ll smile. But inside, they’re wishing to have their own day. They resent their sibling.
Whoever’s grades are better gets more privileges
Ice cream after dinner or the possibility of a sleepover are tied to whoever’s doing better in class. Better reports mean extra freedom. Sure, the other one might really try hard. But it’s not good enough. They always feel like they’re the losing sibling, and that creates a greater sense of competition between the two of them.
The same curfew for both siblings
Age differences mean nothing. In some households, you both come home at the exact same time, regardless of whether one’s older & already wants to hang with friends. They’re stuck coming home at the same time because rules are rules. Pleading with parents gets you nowhere. No wonder siblings start to hate each other.
One sibling has to drive the other everywhere
You’re on parent duty as soon as you get a driving license. That includes school runs & sports clubs, even dropping off siblings at their friend’s house. It all happens during your hours. You’re the “free ride” and not always happy about it. Everyone knows it’s the rule. Being forced to be the parent creates a real sense of anger between siblings.
Guests always take the same sibling’s bed
One sibling’s room is always the guest room. Every time someone visits, they lose their bed, no matter how many times they protest. It happens so often that they stop asking to have their room back. Meanwhile, the other sibling’s room never changes. Such unfairness causes a rift to emerge that neither sibling can avoid.
One sibling is always responsible for waking the other up
For some siblings, their chore is to be the human alarm clock. This involves knocking & shouting to wake up their sibling. Maybe even bouncing on the bed. It’s worse when the other person still sleeps through it, as the waker-upper gets the blame for them being late. This becomes a daily grudge for each sibling. Nobody mentions it, but both of them feel it.
One sibling always opens gifts first on holidays
Someone’s always the first to rip into presents. Usually, this is based on age, but it could be due to other factors. The other sibling has to just wait & ask themselves when it’ll ever switch. Yeah, the adults say they’ll alternate. But it never happens. All that excitement peaks early, and the second person only receives the leftover energy. Poor kid.
Move your feet, lose your seat
The standing rule in some families is simple. You get up & your seat’s up for grabs, with no mercy. Such a rule forces siblings to camp out on the couch for the comfiest spot. They might even avoid going to the bathroom or getting up, just to keep their spot. It’s supposedly a “fair” rule. But really, it creates more jealousy than peace.
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