Choosing divorce in your 60s is becoming more common as women decide they want to live their best life, prioritizing themselves.
Growing apart
After 20, 30, 40 years of marriage, some people find that their spouse is nothing like the person they fell in love with. Life goals, hobbies, values, and even identities can change as a person grows through life stages.
Couples often find they’ve grown into completely different people with nothing in common. When they don’t have a shared vision of the future, living together feels more like an act.
Empty nest
Kids can be the adhesive that holds a relationship together for years, but once they move out and daily child-rearing responsibilities are no longer needed, many couples find themselves lost.
Without children to buffer the relationship and take up spouses’ time and focus, some women are surprised at husbands they no longer know or like being around.
Longer lives
Life expectancies are higher than ever before. Many women in their 60s look in the mirror and realize they have another 20-30 years of life to live.
They don’t want to spend that time tied to someone who isn’t right for them anymore. They want to live their best life while they’re still young and healthy enough to enjoy it.
Financial independence
Women in their 60s have more job mobility and financial independence than ever before. This has removed the fear factor that kept previous generations trapped in bad marriages.
If they get divorced, they know they can afford their own home, their own health insurance and car payment, and life in general.
Priorities
Going through this stage in life can cause a woman to really dig deep and reflect on what she wants out of life. Many decide that they want to put themselves first.
They want to take care of their mental and emotional well-being by freeing themselves of the responsibilities that come with being a wife. It’s less about trying to punish their spouse and more about finally doing what’s right for themselves.
Unfulfillment
Life is short. Women who have spent years feeling unheard, unappreciated, or plain exhausted by their partner’s inability to communicate may decide they don’t have anything more to give the relationship.
If emotional intimacy is gone and they’ve tried everything they can to reach their partner, who refuses to try back, they’ll pack up and leave. No one should have to live in a silent marriage.
Abuse
Studies show that emotional abuse (yelling, manipulation, put-downs) is the leading cause of divorce for women in their 60s.
There comes a moment that will haunt every wife who chooses to leave her spouse: the moment they realized nothing they ever did was going to be good enough.
When women reach that moment of clarity, they know that leaving is the only way to protect their mental health.
Retirement
Retiring from a career you’ve spent decades working at is a huge lifestyle change. When a busy couple that used to spend all day apart suddenly find themselves living 24/7 with one another, it’s hard to go back to pretending like everything is fine.
If the husband expects the wife to be his server or entertainer when he’s bored at home all day, the relationship will deteriorate quickly.
Loneliness
Whether the lack of intimacy is physical or emotional, spending years with no meaningful connection to their spouse can cause some women to want to find that connection with someone else.
Women want to feel like their husbands see them and value them as their teammates. If that feeling of us vs. the world is gone, marriage may be gone too.
Caregiving
Age comes with health problems. As people enter their senior years, one spouse will more than likely have to assume the role of caretaker. Many women will divorce their husbands rather than take on the responsibility of taking care of them when they enter old age.
Or, if her husband brushes off her own medical problems as nothing while showing complete acceptance for his, she may decide that she doesn’t deserve to be pushed aside either.
Stigma
The stigma surrounding divorce is hardly what it used to be. People are far more understanding when a couple decides to part ways than they were 50 years ago.
A wife is allowed to divorce her husband because she’s unhappy. There’s no need to prove that she tried; she just needs to know that in her heart, she did.
Infidelity
Marriage is built on trust. Take that away, and you’ve destroyed the foundation. Whether it’s an issue that’s been ongoing for years or a wife finds out her husband cheated halfway through retirement, cheating is probably going to result in divorce.
Women in their 60s don’t have time for that kind of drama. They want trust and loyalty or nothing at all.
Freedom
Many women just want to be free: free to live life on their own terms. When they wake up, they want to live for themselves.
They want to travel wherever they want, eat whatever they want, and spend their days how they see fit without having to report back to their partner. They want to experience the freedom and solitude of being single before it’s too late.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.