Being married doesn’t require you to steer clear of every guy that isn’t your husband, but it does mean making decisions that won’t hurt your partner’s trust.
Escape fantasies
Talking about wanting to leave your marriage and fantasizing about trying out scenarios for escaping with another man is emotional bait.
Sharing with someone outside your marriage about divorcing before having a truthful adult conversation with your spouse puts an unnatural space between you two. If you have legitimate concerns in your marriage, talk it out with your spouse or a therapist.
Venting
It’s normal to want to vent to someone when marriage becomes trying. However, constantly complaining to another man about your husband can put him in a weird position.
All he’s hearing is the negative things about your relationship. He may also start to place himself as the better option than your husband. Delicate marital issues are best left to trusted individuals who don’t get emotionally invested.
Secret texts
Secret conversations and deleting your chat history with another guy violate a level of openness in a relationship. If you find yourself needing to shield text messages from your spouse, that’s a clear sign you’ve gone beyond the limits of a mere friendship into something secretive.
You should have no reason to hide texts when you’re being open with each other.
Flirtatious banter
Flirting or exchanging compliments doesn’t always indicate cheating. But consistently flirting with someone, making s***al comments/jokes, sending provocative messages, or purposely trying to create s***al tension may be going too far.
If one (or both parties) feel attracted to the other person, claiming it’s “all harmless fun” may not make it harmless.
Financial transactions
Giving or receiving a large sum of money from another man without disclosing it to your husband can lead to trust issues. Financial decisions impact your whole family.
Keeping financial assistance from your partner can cause you to appear guilty even if you’re not. If there are large sums of money or continuous loans involved, you may want to consider discussing it with your spouse.
Unfavourable comparisons
Comparing your husband to another man by saying things like “you’re more attentive” or “you’re more ambitious” or “you understand me better” is incredibly hurtful. Nothing good comes from comparisons.
It will only leave your partner feeling angry and as if their marriage will never measure up. Constructive discussions can happen at home without involving someone else’s name in public.
Prioritizing his needs
It’s incredibly hurtful when you ditch family time or your husband’s needs to help out another man with something that isn’t an emergency. Prioritizing another man’s desires over your husband’s will inevitably relegate him to a supporting role in your life. Remember to always keep your partner as your priority.
Private household details
Sharing sensitive details about your family’s finances, personal vulnerabilities, or private home life with an outsider invades your domestic privacy. Your spouse may have shared these intimate details with you and expected you to keep that information private. Keeping your family’s personal business confidential is a sign of respect for a spouse.
Chasing attention
You might feel flattered to receive a compliment. But going out of your way to solicit romantic or physical praise from another man is another story. Sending explicit pictures, constantly seeking praise, dressing to make him notice you, or coaxing him to say he’s attracted are all kinds of behaviors that push a friendship into different territory. Intent is just as important as action.
Intimate one-on-one time
Having lunch with or spending time alone with a male friend does not necessarily mean that you are doing something you shouldn’t. What crosses the line is intentionally sneaking around on your spouse by hiding dinners, late-night meetings, trips or any situation of intimacy from your partner. Keeping things secret can ruin an innocent friendship and breed serious distrust.
Emotional comfort
Turning to another man regularly when you are going through a tough situation will start to move your emotional dependency away from your husband. It is good to have friends, but allowing another man to become the person you dump all your emotional baggage with is cheating on an emotional level. You and your partner should be there for each other when the other needs something.
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