Feeling safe around someone completely changes the way that you act. However, it’s not always obvious, since some of the signs that you feel safe are rather subtle, and research on relationships shows there are some habits people save for those they trust.
Here are ten things people only do with those they feel safe around. What do you do around those you trust?
Letting silence hang
There are some moments where you & another person simply sit together, perhaps reading or doing nothing at all. Nobody feels as though they need to fill the gap, and that’s because researchers studying couples have said such comfortable silence is a sign of closeness.
It shows that you feel a sense of ease that you only get from not being judged.
Sharing half-formed thoughts
You’ll only share rough or uncertain ideas instead of rehearsed tales around someone you trust. These could be half-baked ideas or weird worries, and research on self-disclosure has found that these sorts of tentative conversations only happen in certain situations.
You have to really believe that the other person is actually listening to you without fear of them attacking you.
Letting facial expressions slide
Not feeling the need to keep it together means that your face & body will actually show what’s really going on inside you. You’ll show people that you’re genuinely happy or sad.
Emotional suppression studies have found that people suppress their feelings less when they feel safe around people, so they’re more likely to be honest about their emotions.
Straight-up asking for comfort when shaky
It’s natural for life to get stressful sometimes. But it’s only people who have someone supportive around them who are more likely to be honest about their needs, or when they need help.
Lab studies have looked into stress support, and they have found that people tend to reach out directly for help when they trust that the other person is going to respond to them nicely.
Detailing boring everyday stuff
The mundane matters as much as the interesting stuff, and people usually share the boring details about their day with the people that they trust.
Studies on relationships claim that people are more likely to share such low-stakes updates with those they feel safe around, as they know that these people will care. They value the everyday stuff as much as the interesting.
Dropping polite-talk scripts
You don’t have to rely on small talk or being overly polite when you’re communicating with people that you know very well, and you may simply share how you feel with them. You might also interrupt them.
Communication studies have found that people are happy to allow less-guarded moments to happen when they’re talking to someone they feel accepted by.
Leaving your stuff at their place
The way that you handle your possessions at someone’s home is rather telling because you’ll stop feeling the need to keep watch on your things when you’re with someone you trust.
Researchers have studied how people deal with shared space & personal symbols. Their findings? People only do so when they’re in comfortable friendships or other safe relationships.
Eating in a way you usually keep for yourself
Think about the way you eat. According to impression management research, people stop thinking that they need to look put together while they’re eating, and they begin adjusting their portions & food choices.
They don’t think they need to look controlled anymore, but rather, they revert to their regular eating style, without any pretense.
Talking in detail about past relationships
The majority of people will keep information about their past relationships rather private when they don’t know their audience very well because these stories involve sensitive history.
However, communication studies found that the opposite is true with people they trust since people talk openly about their former partners. They’ll share the parts they’d normally hold back.
Dressing in a low-effort way around them
Why bother fixing every stray hair or planning each outfit when you’re around somebody that you trust? Research indicates that people are usually more worried about their appearance around strangers or new connections than those who they trust.
They’ll likely stop worrying about their self-presentation when they’re with someone they feel close to.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.