Communication is how we build relationships, but some comments that women make instantly make a man feel they are closed off, taken, or just not that into him.
“I’m bored”
Let’s face it, saying this makes a man feel like he is your entertainer and sole provider of happiness. You come across as more of a critic that he can’t please, rather than a teammate with whom he can have fun.
Unless you really mean it as a suggestion to go grab some ice cream and watch Netflix, it sounds like a judgment of his personality or life goals.
“You never…” or “You always…”
Statements that include these absolutes are dead-end streets in any conversation and will put a man on the defensive immediately.
By saying these phrases, you negate every other time he tried to do something. This makes him feel like all his effort goes unnoticed and unappreciated by you.
You are no longer focusing on fixing a problem but attacking his character.
“My ex used to…”
Even if you are using this phrase as a comparison to something meaningless, it sparks an invisible competition.
It also suggests that your ex still occupies valuable brain space and that you’re subconsciously dating him too. A man needs to feel like you appreciate him for who he is.
“I don’t care, you decide everything”
Being easygoing can be a good thing, but you still have to do your own mental work as a couple.
If you allow him to make every decision (what to eat for dinner, where to go on the weekend, etc.), he might start to feel like he is hanging out with a passenger rather than a partner.
Let him know you have opinions too by creating some of the plans yourself.
“All men are the same”
When you say this to a man, you’re telling him you already resent him for the bad behavior of others. This makes him feel like you don’t see him as a person.
Every man is an individual, and when you say this, you’re stripping away his personality. He will feel like he can do nothing but please you, and eventually, you will find a reason to blame him for other people’s mistakes.
“Why didn’t you text me back?”
As innocent as it may seem or actually be, saying this too soon or too angrily breeds an anxious need for reassurance that will suffocate him.
He will feel like his time and space are being policed. If you don’t give a man some breathing room, monitoring his every move, he might lose interest in you very quickly.
“You should know what I want”
Nobody is a mind-reader and you can’t expect a man to suddenly know your needs without communication.
What you’re really saying is that you want him to be able to read your mind or else he doesn’t care about you enough.
Guys hate being tested on questions that they can’t answer; eventually, they will give up trying to please you.
“I’m fine”
Sure, you’re not screaming or crying, but when you say this to your partner, you’re thrusting a massive wall of passive-aggressiveness between the two of you.
He will constantly feel like he’s walking on eggshells or guessing your mood, which is an incredibly insecure feeling. If you don’t tell him what’s wrong, he can’t possibly know that you’re not fine.
“I hate drama”
To most men, this screams: “Trigger warning: drama queen coming through.”
Only people whose life is constantly surrounded by screaming girlfriends and exes blowing up their phone complain about too much “drama”. He might assume you are either blind to your own issues or high maintenance.
“I don’t need anyone”
Being independent is attractive, but telling someone you don’t “need” them sounds exhausting.
What man wants to spend their life with someone who seems like they wouldn’t miss them if they were gone? Yes, you can live without a partner, but you also shouldn’t sound like you look forward to that day.
These things make women happy, but not men
Small everyday moments and experiences often bring women joy in ways many men don’t relate to.