Most of us assume yelling is a natural part of growing up. As a child, you might have gotten scolded for very simple things like leaving the lights on or forgetting to do chores. But some of these incidents can leave scars in you that never fade, even many years later.
You might find yourself nervous when people are arguing, or you might walk on eggshells in certain situations. If you’ve ever thought you’re carrying invisible weight, then you’re not alone.
Let’s take a look at the signs and decide if any of these apply to you.
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You Overthink Everything
If yelling was a habit you grew up with, you might be someone who overthinks. You might obsess about what you said, did, and perhaps what people think of you.
You might be constantly avoiding something that might offend someone. Even basic choices like which restaurant to eat at can be overwhelming; you don’t want to make a “wrong” decision.
Conflict Makes You Freeze
Conflicts or even just a few heated exchanges can make you shut down. It’s as if your brain just hits the brakes and you just want to escape.
Loud voices can make your blood pump faster or make you cry because you remember those times when screaming was just something you could not escape.
You’re a People-Pleaser
You’ll say anything to avoid conflict. When someone asks for something, you’re the one who says “yes” even if you have to spread yourself too thin.
Growing up with your parents yelling at you, you might have learnt that keeping others happy is the easiest way to not get into trouble. So you put everyone else first even though it doesn’t work out for you.
You Struggle with Self-Worth
When you hear harsh words about you when growing up, it scars you. Maybe you were told you weren’t good enough; now that voice has become your own inner critic.
Even if you do achieve something, you may think that it isn’t that big of a deal. Or worse, you might think that you don’t deserve it.
You’re Easily Startled
If you have grown up with constant yelling at home, loud noises or sudden movements might make you sweaty.
Your body’s like on high alert, waiting for a crisis. You might be in a safe environment now, but your brain feels like there’s always going to be trouble.
You Avoid Expressing Your Feelings
If your parents yelled at you when you expressed yourself as a child, then you might still have the habit of keeping your thoughts to yourself.
You bottle it all up because that’s safer. You’d rather take on the discomfort than offending someone or getting a harsh reception.
You Have a Hard Time Trusting Others
When the same people who were supposed to protect and support you yelled at you, you’re not sure you can put your trust in them.
You will have trust issues even as an adult. You might always feel as if everyone has a hidden agenda or is waiting to take advantage of you.
You’re Hypercritical of Yourself
If you heard constant yelling about what you did wrong, you might have internalized that voice. Now, you’re your own harshest critic.
You beat yourself up over small mistakes or set impossibly high standards for yourself; this is because you feel like you’re not allowed to mess up.
You Struggle with Anxiety
That tension of childhood can be carried into adulthood. You could be anxious the whole time, assuming that something bad is going to happen.
Even minor conflict or daily stress can get too much for your head as your brain is programmed to predict the worst.
You Avoid Certain Situations
You might avoid family events because they make you feel bad. Or you might avoid work meetings where you have to argue.
It’s as if you have put a wall around yourself and sealed it tight to keep those old feelings in check. Even though it feels safe, it might be blocking you from things that can help you grow as a person.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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