Although most women are inclined to go for available men, psychologists have identified several reasons why some women are attracted to married men.
Mate copying
Psychologists and animal behaviorists have documented a behavioral phenomenon called mate copying. When a man has a wife, that means another woman has already done the hard work of vetting him, testing him and officially giving him her seal of approval.
Knowing he’s already able to commit to a woman full-time is like a huge stamp of approval from society that says he must have good qualities to be a worthy partner.
Emotional stability
Married men also exude a calm, grounded, and low-key energy. They don’t have to spend their nights swiping on dating apps or endure the tumultuous process of modern dating.
They don’t come off as clingy or desperate to please like many single men can sometimes do when they’re trying to score a date. This lack of pressure that married guys operate under makes them relaxing to be around, and people confuse that with being deeply mature.
Clear boundaries
For women who want close male attention but do not want a high-investment relationship, step-parent role, or their own marriage, a married man provides predetermined limits. Since he’s already invested in another person both romantically and legally, they never have to worry about the future of the relationship.
There’s no risk of the relationship escalating, which means everyday life with him will always feel low-pressure and uncomplicated.
Grooming habits
Long-term partnerships imply that a man has gotten years of gentle constructive criticism on his clothing choices, haircuts, hygiene, and overall house manners.
Thanks to years of his wife smoothing his edges out, most married men are extremely well-groomed, nicely dressed, and overall housebroken. They are a cleaned-up version of themselves that sticks out from the crowd.
Communication skills
Mastering the art of marriage is something that requires extreme doses of compromise, listening and co-existing with a partner each day. It takes such refined skills in communication that a man who is married may come across as one of the most attentive, empathetic, and easy people to speak to.
When he pays close attention, it can often feel like a powerful, unique connection few people understand.
Financial stability
While it’s definitely not always the case, most married men tend to be more established in their careers and have shown that they can be financially responsible with a shared household.
They exude an air of stability just by how their life is put together and that they have material things that afford comfort. It immediately gives women that feeling of safety, ambition, and success.
The chase
With some women, knowing that he’s off limits because he’s married actually ignites a competitive spirit to see if she can get him to notice her anyway. There’s something forbiddingly taboo about cheating that sends adrenaline and dopamine levels sky-high in the brain.
So every text, look and phone call feels more thrilling than a regular date would.
Fatherly energy
If he’s married and he just happens to be a really attentive, patient, loving father, then seeing him with his kids can be a big attraction trigger.
It shows his nurturing side and appeals to your primal instincts to choose a good mate who can show her how to care for others. It also shows he can put his family’s needs above his own selfish needs.
Ego boost
When a married man devotes his full attention to a single woman, it can feel heady and validating to her ego. The forbidden fantasy that he could possibly leave his stable life behind, his house, his good name, just to speak to her, elevates her worth.
She feels special, even though the reality of the situation is messy and dishonest.
Emotional vulnerability
When a married man confesses anxieties, marital problems, or secret weaknesses to a woman confidante, trusting her to be a neutral third party, they appear to be emotionally open.
Hearing a man spill his guts like that can feel so intoxicatingly rare to a woman accustomed to needy or emotionally distant single men. Women are attracted to this rare emotional vulnerability.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
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