Many people over 50 have that one comment they wish they could just reel back in. Usually, they’re things they thought were helpful at the time. Others? They’re stuff they heard from their own parents & repeated without thinking. Here are things ten older parents told us that they regret telling their kids. What’s something you wish you could take back?
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“Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.”
This one hurt. A lot of parents said it when they were out of patience with their kids, even though they weren’t actually gonna do anything. The threat alone wasn’t great. In some cases, it makes the kid stop crying, but they also stop showing emotion at all. Not quite what most parents had in mind.
“Just ignore them and they’ll stop.”
Many parents used this line whenever their child was dealing with bullies. Yet it didn’t always work. It sometimes caused their kids to be picked on even more, as they just stood there & didn’t react. Some children still don’t know how to stand up for themselves. As such, their parents wish they’d taught their kids how to actually face bullies. Being quiet solves nothing.
“We sacrificed everything for you.”
During arguments, quite a few parents said this. But now they regret it. Why? Because it made their kids feel like they had a huge debt hanging over their heads. To this day, some adult children bring up this comment and how bad it made them feel. It stung.
“Don’t waste time on that.”
Parents didn’t necessarily say this in a mean way. Instead, it was more like they were asking why their kids were doing something unproductive when there was homework. Yet now they regret it. What seemed pointless to them turned out to be real interests for their kids. They were possibly even missed opportunities. They didn’t see it that way back then.
“Stop fidgeting.”
A few parents said this without thinking, usually at restaurants or during church. They figured the kid was just being rude. Or maybe they weren’t listening. It turns out that several kids actually have ADHD and were doing their best to focus. Their parents look back & feel like they shut them down without meaning to. Really, they wish they had done it differently.
“You’re the smart one.”
This one was meant to be a compliment. But it came with strings. Some kids felt stuck and like they couldn’t ask questions or say “I don’t know.” They were worried they’d disappoint someone. In fact, some kids became anxious over the smallest mistake because they were always called the “brainy one.” They couldn’t be average at something. Not even for fun.
“You’re the oldest, act like it.”
Here’s one they said everywhere, whether it was arguments or family dinners. It’s meant to suggest that a kid should know better. What it actually does is shut down a chance for them to have a bad day. They’re not even allowed to be a mess sometimes. And it’s all because they were born first, even though that doesn’t mean signing up to be a backup parent.
“We don’t owe you anything.”
There’s no way to say this nicely. The intention is to encourage the kid to be grateful or pull their weight. But what ends up sticking is this weird feeling. The kid starts thinking that love or support comes with conditions. Whatever the intention, such a saying doesn’t usually land the way it’s meant.
“You’re just being lazy.”
Really, most parents said this much too quickly, without questions or pausing. They went straight to blaming. Most of the time, though, there’s a lot more going on. It could be sleep issues or burnout. Maybe it’s the kind of tired that doesn’t go away with a nap. Whatever the reason, the word “lazy” doesn’t fix anything or ask anything, either.
“You don’t need friends like that.”
Someone talks about a fight they had with a friend. Suddenly, their parents tell them to cut them off & that they’re bad for them. But friendships get messy. People say dumb things, and then sometimes they say sorry. That’s life. Honestly, jumping in to judge a friend based on one story doesn’t help or teach a kid how to deal with relationships.
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