It often feels like some people are almost impossible to rattle. The rest of us are running hot, yet these people manage to stay calm, and it’s mostly due to the fact that they have a few personality traits they may not notice.
Here are ten traits found in people who rarely lose their temper, according to science. Which one reminds you of someone in your life?
Benign intent default
People who can maintain a steady temper are usually able to recognize that some things aren’t meant to go their way. They understand that it’s okay.
It’s part of something research refers to as “low hostile-attribution bias,” and the habit is apparently connected to having lower trait anger. People who rarely lose their temper are unlikely to see a late reply or weird tone as personal.
Emotion-name precision
Being able to break your feelings into tiny categories is quite the skill, and it’s quite common with people who don’t get angry so easily. Studies on emotional granularity have shown this.
They’ve found that being able to understand the different shades of your feelings helps you to stop being angry. You’re not simply “mad.” No, you sort your emotions quickly & stop them from piling up.
Automatic re-framing habit
Not angering easily often means you’re able to reframe moments before they explode. Researchers have looked into this as part of cognitive reappraisal studies.
Apparently, these sorts of people will change the way they see things so that they don’t get angry so quickly. Everything looks a little calmer to them.
Comfort with letting feelings sit
Getting angry less doesn’t necessarily mean you push away all of your uncomfortable feelings. At least, that’s what emotion-regulation studies say.
They claim that people who anger less allow their uncomfortable feelings to hang around because they accept them as a normal part of life. They allow their negative emotions to sit & eventually disappear.
Low replay tendency
Why bother replaying your frustrating moments on a loop? That’s what people who aren’t quick to anger tell themselves.
Studies have found that they’re less likely to get angry because they stop re-running all the mistakes they’ve made in the past. They’ll think about something once or maybe twice. But then that’s all.
Early body-signal awareness
Recognizing the signs that you’re getting angry actually helps you to avoid it. Many calmer people know that. They’ll notice their shoulders tightening & their breath tightening, and then they’ll calm themselves down.
Truly understanding your feelings supports your emotional regulation, according to research. People with this trait catch the yellow light before it turns red.
Kind inner voice under stress
One common trait among people who get angry less is that they talk to themselves gently. Yes, they mess up. But they treat themselves nicely when that happens, and research has connected that to lower aggression & anger.
They speak to themselves as a friend. Not piling blame on themselves helps to prevent any emotional spikes from gaining momentum.
High agreeableness
People who rarely lose their temper are often more agreeable. What does that mean? Essentially, they’re more likely to show cooperation & understanding towards others, rather than be aggressive.
Research shows that someone who is agreeable is less likely to lash out. Rather than always being calm, they’re simply not going to engage in conflict.
Strong effortful control
Strong effortful control is more challenging than you might realize. It involves having the mental muscle to pause & choose, then act appropriately.
Such self-regulation has been connected to being less aggressive tendencies in research, as these sorts of people are better at controlling their impulses. They’re disciplined & able to calm down when things get tense.
Trait mindfulness
It makes sense that those who stay cool are naturally mindful. They’re much more attuned to what’s happening now instead of being swept away by it all, and research connects mindfulness to being less angry.
They’re less likely to ruminate on things. It prevents their irritation from building up to a massive blow-up that they might regret.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.