Respect underpins all of our relationships. When a partner is crossing a line in disrespectful behavior, you’ll probably start to feel unsupported and unhappy; and most importantly, trust won’t be there any longer. Eventually, you’ll start to feel like you’re putting in all the effort.
So what are the ways your partner may be exhibiting behaviors that qualify as disrespectful? Some are obvious, while others are a little sneakier than you may think.
Let’s look at 10 such signs that will make you think a little harder about whether you should move forward in the relationship or not.
Constant Criticism
A partner’s relentless criticism can tear down your confidence by poking holes in your decisions, habits or physical characteristics. If these repeated comments make you feel that you never do anything right or get anything right, you are going to believe that you are just not good enough, or deserving of your partner’s love.
Ignoring Boundaries
Everyone learns and establishes personal boundaries, essentially what is and isn’t okay in a relationship, and healthy relationships will respect those limits.
So if your partner routinely crosses your boundaries, invade your privacy by rifling through your personal items or demand you spend more time with them than you are comfortable with, that is disrespectful.
Lying & Deception
Whenever your partner lies, you start doubting everything they say. Your mind becomes filled with mysteries and uncertainties, and you change from a “laid-back and calm” individual to an “anxious” one.
If you cannot trust someone, that person is not treating you with sufficient respect and often does not care about you.
Dismissing Your Feelings
You want to feel like you’re being heard and seen in a relationship. When your own feelings get dismissed by your partner, when you’re told that you’re ‘crazy’ or ‘making a fuss’, this constitutes a lack of respect for your emotional reaction.
Embarrassing You in Public
When your partner ridicules or insults you in front of friends, family or even strangers, it hurts for sure, but it’s also deeply humiliating. It shows that your partner doesn’t take your dignity seriously, that they don’t care at all about how you feel about yourself.
A good partner will protect your self-respect, especially in front of other people, and not take every occasion to spoil it.
Trying to Control You
Controlling behavior shows itself in myriad ways, from telling you who you can see and where you can go, to making decisions for you.
This is about controlling your freedom, robbing you of your individuality, and making you feel imprisoned rather than cherished. It’s a clear sign of disrespect.
Giving You the Silent Treatment
Rather than resolving the issue at hand, engaging in pettiness creates a vacuum of communication; in which you are left to believe that you’re undeserving of their time, attention or affection.
To my mind, this is one of the most emotionally cruel things our lovers can do to us.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting might involve someone denying they ever said or did something they in fact did; often insisting that you instead have misremembered the event or denying that you feel a certain way when you do.
Gaslighting can weaken the victim’s confidence and leave you feeling uncertain of what you remember or how you feel. It can be really damaging to your self confidence and mental health.
Breaking Promises Repeatedly
Everyone makes mistakes, but habitual breaches of trust reveal someone who is not interested in giving or receiving and, as such, cannot be relied on.
If you cannot count on your partner consistently to do what they have said they will do for you, in old and new ways, then the relationship lacks a solid foundation and can never be anything but precarious.
Using Insults or Name-Calling
Verbal abuse in the form of insults and name-calling hits especially hard, especially when it’s said in anger. Such words can be especially disheartening when spoken by a loved one as they could stick in your mind and kill your self-esteem little by little.
Partners who respect each other should also be able to control themselves, even in the heat of an argument, to avoid insulting each other.
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