Sometimes, life’s biggest regrets are just the little things that were left undone. Habits we never started, moments we never saw and opportunities we never took all add up over time. You look back years later and think how things might have been different if you had just started early. We talked to a bunch of people, and these are 14 things they wish they’d started way earlier.
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Learning how to read body language correctly
Manipulation? No, awareness. We hear words, but how often do we notice someone is uncomfortable, bored, or, on the contrary, very fond of us? If I’d understood that earlier, I’d have avoided a great many problems and, I think it’s fair to say, a certain amount of heartbreak.
Sending kind messages for no reason
Most of us reserve nice messages for birthdays and sickness. Send someone a quick “Was just thinking of you”, and you can transform their whole week. It takes five seconds, but it’s only when you’ve forgotten to speak to someone for years that you realize what you’ve done.
Recording how loved ones speak, not just what they say
Snapshots and letters will survive the years, but the way someone pronounces your name, or laughs at their own jokes, these things can vanish in the blink of an eye. Most people only start recording them long after it’s too late.
Asking older relatives uncomfortable questions
What’s your biggest regret? What was the most frightening thing when you were my age? They sound kind of heavy, or gauche, when you’re young. But when they’re gone, you’d give anything to have those honest answers.
Keeping a list of small joys instead of chasing one big one
Happiness always seemed like a destination. But the passing small joys like eating a good mango, a cooling breeze, the cardamom aroma in your tea, those are what make up a life. If you had known that sooner, your life would’ve measured time differently.
Making a list of books/films that shaped your thinking
The impact they have on you is tremendous when you read or watch them, but who can recall those names two years later? If you’d started a list of them much earlier, you’d have a powerful self-reading list to look back on how you’ve changed.
Spending money on fixing your surroundings, not upgrading them
We often focus on big upgrades, a new couch, a new TV. But repairing the creaky floorboard, the chipped paint, the flickering lightbulb makes you happier, every day.
Saving voice messages instead of deleting them
Most people just clear voicemails to free up space. But that message your toddler left when they were four, or the one where you can still hear your father’s laugh long after he’s gone, those are the keepers. Most of us don’t realize that until we listen back to an empty inbox.
Designing a ritual to honor endings
We have rituals for beginnings: the first day at a new job, the first date, a baby’s first steps. We rarely create rituals for endings. Designing a way to ceremoniously close a chapter (even if only in private) is soothing. A letter never sent, a drink to yourself, a wordless farewell all help you move on from things without staying stuck in old chapters.
Letting yourself be a beginner without rushing to get good
You feel like you need to either master something within days or quit if you don’t show potential immediately. But the simple act of trying something new, without self-consciousness about how awkward you appear, will create space for more patience, more curiosity. Most people don’t allow themselves that luxury until much, much later.
Writing down phrases or advice that stuck with you
You read or hear something that reframes your thinking (a casual conversation with a stranger, a lyric, a line from a podcast), and days later, it’s gone. If you’d been writing those down all these years, you’d have a pocket manual to everything that ever made you feel seen, heard or understood.
Choosing to attend events alone
How many times have you passed up on shows or trips because no one else was available? Going solo makes you more present and proves you’re good company for yourself.
Learning to receive compliments (not shrinking away)
Compliments often get brushed off like they don’t matter. You find yourself saying “It’s nothing” again and again. But it’s not nothing. You want to say “thank you” without pulling back.
Saying “I was wrong” the moment you realize it
The longer you dawdle, the more calcified the situation becomes. The sooner you say it, the stronger it makes you. Most people only learn this lesson well into adulthood, when a series of apologies ten years overdue does them no good.
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