Some people feel like they’re lagging behind. However, you’d never guess it from the outside because they don’t walk around saying it out loud. You can see it in the small stuff. Research shows (see source at the end) that these people have some common behaviors, and here are fourteen of them. What other signs do you think there are?
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They delay simple decisions for days without noticing
These people will stare at a cart full of stuff online. They don’t have anything fancy there, maybe socks or a cheap blender. But it just sits there. Day after day. They have the money, but not the confidence to click ‘order.’ Then they forget all about it. Simple decisions weigh just as much as big ones for them. They’re terrified of doing something that’ll keep them behind.
They give vague answers when people ask about their goals
Someone asks what they’re working on but they don’t give an answer. Rather, it’s just some form of “Oh, just figuring some stuff out,” or “Taking it slow right now.” They then change the subject. They might’ve once had a plan, or ten. Not anymore. Even saying a goal out loud feels weird. What if they’re aiming for the ‘wrong’ thing? It’s much safer to stay general & move on.
They start planning something but drop it halfway through
You may have seen someone go all in on a plan. It doesn’t last long. In fact, this plan for the future suddenly vanishes as quickly as it comes. That’s because starting something feels better than finishing. They fear that what they’re doing isn’t actually helping them advance. As such, they don’t bother.
They check job listings late at night but rarely apply
People like this have a late-night routine. It starts with opening the laptop & then browsing Indeed or LinkedIn. They might filter it by “entry-level” or “remote.” Scroll & scroll. They’ll find an opening that looks promising & bookmark it before later closing the tab. Rinse & repeat. They do want to change. But hitting “apply?” That’s harder than many people realize. Much harder.
They avoid tracking their progress on anything
You’ve probably seen people posting habit trackers on social media. Y’know, stuff like “Day 16 of waking up at 5 AM.” People who feel like they’re behind in life won’t do that. Any journal or goal-tracking they did once is just a memory. They do care, of course. But checking the numbers makes them feel more stuck. It’s easier to stop.
They compare themselves to old versions of who they used to be
Keeping up with others isn’t always the biggest issue. For these people, it’s comparing themselves with themselves that happens regularly. They think back to when they were full of ideas & energy. That version of them? It’s far away now. Seriously, they wish they could bring back the version of them that kept making achievements. They can’t.
They lose interest in religious practices they once followed
Maybe they used to meditate every morning or pray. They may have once lit incense & pulled a tarot card. But one day, they skipped it. Then it happened again. Before they know it, it has been months, although it’s not necessarily a kind of rebellion. It feels like that religious connection is now thin. That makes them feel like they’re not progressing.
They struggle to picture where they’ll be in five years
Try asking them what they see five years from now & they’ll say something vague. They might tell you they have no idea, or “hopefully not here.” It’s because they don’t have a vision board or mental roadmap. They simply have a kind of blank fog that they might laugh off. But pay close attention. They’re not as happy as they seem.
They cycle through interests without sticking to one
One week they’re ordering a book on UX design. A few weeks later, it’s air-dry clay & a new sketchpad. Then they’re watching videos about how to start a blog. They’re restless. Really, they’re trying to land on something that finally feels right. But nothing quite does. As such, they keep switching lanes & hoping the next thing sticks longer than the last.
They second-guess their own decisions even after making them
As soon as they say yes to something, they’ll wonder if they should’ve said no. It doesn’t matter if they’ve picked one path. Soon after, they’re mentally walking through the other one, just in case. It’s exhausting. And it’s all because they’re so afraid of making a wrong decision that’ll keep them behind. Replaying all the ‘what-ifs’ they didn’t pick feels kinda comforting.
They put off starting anything that might take a long time
Any big projects get filed under “later.” It could be starting something like writing a book or getting in shape. Even learning a new skill sounds great in theory. But when the finish line seems too far away, it’s easier to never start. That’s one of the major reasons they can never get ahead. They never make the effort to do so, even if they really need to.
They stop updating friends about their life
These people haven’t necessarily decided to ghost everyone, as they still show up. They still reply. However, talking about their own stuff is another story, especially the hard parts. They’ll go quiet. After all, telling people you’re “still kind of stuck” too many times feels awkward.
They feel uncomfortable celebrating their own small wins
Getting a new job or finishing something tough isn’t enough for these people. They’ll downplay it. But not because they’re fishing for reassurance. Rather, they just don’t feel like these count unless they’re massive. Being behind in other areas means that the good thing doesn’t really matter. And yeah, that makes it hard to feel proud.
They feel weird making plans more than a few days ahead
Someone asks if they’re free next month & their answer is “maybe.” They’re not booked. It’s simply because they’re flaky & they just don’t feel ready to imagine what they’ll want that far out. Fun stuff? That’s hard to commit to. So they stall, or at least say yes with the hope that it gets canceled. At least they don’t have to think about it anymore.
Sources
- Falling Behind and Feeling Bad: Unmet Expectations and Mental Health during the Transition to Adulthood
- Factors Contributing to Quarter Life Crisis on Early Adulthood: A Systematic Literature Review
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