Not all relationships end after a breakup. Sometimes people carry small habits or thoughts with them, perhaps even routines, that tie them back to an old partner, often without them recognizing it.
Here are twelve subtle behaviours that show someone isn’t completely over their ex. Which one would annoy you the most?
Keeping old contact threads alive
You may notice that their conversations with their ex are still saved under a nickname. They refuse to delete them. The message thread with their ex stays pinned, even though nothing happens, and they merely scroll through it during idle moments.
Research suggests that holding onto contact is a sign that they’re holding onto an emotional connection.
Dropping the ex into unrelated stories
They somehow always mention their ex during completely unrelated conversations. It could be that it’s something similar to what they used to do with their ex, or perhaps it reminds them of a moment with them. It doesn’t matter.
Relationship research says that frequently mentioning your ex in unrelated topics is a sign of lingering attachment. They can’t let go.
Repeating old couple rituals solo
It’s quite telling when your partner keeps ordering the same dish they ordered with their ex. They may also visit the same place that the two of them used to go, even when they’re with friends.
It’s something that therapists say you should be aware of. Holding onto shared routines after a breakup usually indicates that the old patterns & feelings still exist.
Using leftover inside language
Keep an eye on their use of language. Are they continuing to laugh at the jokes that they only made with their ex, or perhaps using their ex’s nickname when telling a story? It’s not as harmless as it may seem.
Research indicates that holding onto that kind of “we” language means that the mental connection between the pair is still alive.
Quietly checking their socials
Sure, they don’t like or comment on their ex’s posts. But you do notice them scrolling through their Instagram or Facebook profile now & again, perhaps while using a second account.
It’s something that research claims is a sign of greater breakup distress. It’s rather likely that your partner is adjusting rather slowly to the change, if at all.
Storing reminders in “neutral” spots
They don’t throw away old photos or gifts. No, they put them somewhere else as a pile of “maybe someday” items because they’re physically unable to throw away memories of the past.
Therapists claim it shows an unfinished part of the emotional separation. They’re holding onto memories of their partner because they can’t let go of the partner at all.
Keeping old milestones on the mental calendar
You may notice that they still remember the ex’s birthday or the day that they first met. They might even recall the exact weekend they broke up.
It doesn’t matter that they don’t bring it up because research indicates that such memory markers continue long after the breakup. It’s hard for them to forget such moments, so they don’t.
Mentioning ex-dreams, then going quiet
Dreams are quite telling. They may joke that they dreamed about their ex last night, but the fact that they even thought about their ex is rather important.
Science shows that dreams about the past suggest you’re holding onto it in some way. The fact that they get absent or moody afterwards suggests they still have a form of attachment to that person.
Having a “too-big for the moment” reaction
Try casually bringing up an ex during a conversation. People who are over their ex will react normally, while those who are still into them will react out of proportion with a sudden smile or frown.
It’s what researchers claim is strong emotional arousal. Reacting in such a way is a good sign that the memory of the two of them together is very much still alive.
Fishing for updates through mutual friends
You may notice them ask mutual friends for updates about their ex, claiming that they’re simply being curious. They probably aren’t.
Studies on partner-monitoring behaviours after breakups have found that people who ask third parties for news are usually trying to keep tabs on them. Why would they want to do that unless they’re still into them?
Using the old relationship as the timeline template
People say that comparison is the thief of joy, and that’s certainly true for relationships. Comparing current relationship milestones with those of the past indicates that a person can’t let go.
According to psychologists, it shows they’re still referencing their past bond. They’re simply unable to give up comparing their present with the past because it seemed so much better then.
Leaving couple photos up in plain sight
You may see that they’ve barely given much thought to their old pictures. They’re not necessarily adding new ones, yet they’re also not rushing to clear the previous pictures out.
Relationship counselors have spoken about the significance of such behaviour. It happens when someone hasn’t fully stepped away from that part of their life.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.