Some kids have it rougher than others growing up, especially if yelling was normalized in their house. Unfortunately, it might still affect them now that they’re all grown up. Let’s look at 12 ways that getting yelled at a lot as a kid can mess with you as an adult. Beyond simply being jumpy, it can stretch into everything from your relationships to how you handle stress.
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Super Sensitive to Loud Noises
If your childhood featured a lot of yelling, you might find yourself super sensitive to loud noises now. Why? Because your ears are on high alert and they’re waiting for trouble. It can make things like concerts or even busy city streets stressful when they don’t need to be. These people tend to be a bit more on edge in loud environments.
Struggling with Conflict
Only seeing arguments growing up means that you’ll find it hard to deal with conflict. Adults who grew up with a lot of yelling didn’t get a model for how to discuss things calmly. This makes it hard to face issues in a healthy way. They struggle with difficult conversations at work & in their personal relationships.
Feeling Down About Themselves
When you’re constantly yelled at as a kid, it can make you feel like you’re always in the wrong and this feeling can stick around long after. It makes you doubt yourself more than you should. Many adults who were yelled at a lot as kids might struggle with feeling good enough. They continually question their worth, even when they’re doing just fine.
Anxious Vibes
Feeling anxious? It could be because yelling was a big part of your childhood. Being in a high-stress environment can teach your brain to always be on the lookout for danger, making you feel more anxious in everyday situations, even as an adult. Your internal alarm system is set to high—even when there’s no danger around.
Trust Issues
Your parents are supposed to take care of you but if they were unpredictable & shouted at you, it might be hard to trust others now. It’s normal for people who grew up in this kind of household to have a hard time believing that others have their back. As you might expect, this can make personal relationships really challenging.
Laying Low
Some people react to childhood yelling by trying to keep the peace at all costs, such as always going with the flow or keeping quiet to avoid upsetting anyone. All that yelling in their childhood taught them that standing out isn’t safe. And as adults, they’ll do whatever they can to keep the peace—even if it involves not speaking up for themselves.
Quick to Yell
On the flip side, some adults who were yelled at a lot as kids might find themselves following in those footsteps. While you may have hated getting yelled at, it’s easy to fall into the same pattern when you’re stressed or upset. It’s a tough cycle to break. It’s even harder if you haven’t learned other ways to handle tough emotions.
Trouble Focusing
Constant yelling can mess with your ability to concentrate, meaning that you end up feeling scatterbrained when there’s too much noise or pressure. The situation only gets worse when it’s in a chaotic environment. If this sounds like you, then it could be a hangover from those days when your home was anything but calm.
Keeping Your Distance
Adults who were shouted at a lot as kids usually have a habit of keeping other people at arm’s length. After all, it feels far safer keeping things superficial. Developing trusting relationships can feel risky because your early experiences taught you that people are often loud & hurtful. Why bother engaging with them?
Jumping at Shadows
These people often have a sharper startle reflex than most of us. Essentially, their bodies learned to brace for impact at any sudden noise or movement—which makes them jumpy even in safe situations. As well as being easily startled, such a reflex can make simply relaxing a real challenge.
Holding Onto Anger
It’s not unusual for adults who were yelled at a lot as kids to carry some anger into their adult lives. This anger might be directed at the people who yelled or at the world in general. Sometimes, they’re even angry at themselves. Naturally, this is a heavy load to carry and can take a toll on both mental & physical health.
Need for Approval
Growing up in an aggressive household often translates to a constant need for approval from others. You’re still trying to prove you’re doing things right, waiting for that nod of approval that was hard to come by as a kid. For example, you might always ask for feedback or feel uneasy until someone reassures you that you’ve done well. It’s as exhausting as it sounds.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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