10 Surprising Reasons Long-Term Relationships Fail Today

Most of the time when relationships hit the rocks, it’s the usual suspects that are the cause, like infidelity. Even so, a few less obvious things also cause trouble between partners. It’s no wonder even the strongest relationships are sometimes on shaky ground! Let’s look at ten surprising factors that cause the end of our many modern love stories.

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Social Media Envy

Social media
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Those moments when you’re scrolling through Instagram, feeling jealous of those picture-perfect couples, are a lot worse for you than you might realize. After all, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing your own relationship to those posts online. This creates a feeling of digital envy and soon enough, you’ll feel like your relationship doesn’t measure up.

Lack of Individual Growth

Portrait of smiling mother and grown son with cups of hot drinks talking at home
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Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you should stop growing. Unfortunately, when one (or both) people feel stuck, they think they’re unable to chase their own dreams and start feeling resentful. If you’re not moving forward, you’re just standing still. Who wants to feel like they’re not going anywhere?

Overdependence on Technology for Communication

Young beautiful Latin woman on bed late at night texting
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While texting & DMs are great, if that’s all you’re doing then you might be missing out on the real meat of communication. Any nuances in tone or facial expressions get lost in translation. Relying too much on technology to communicate with your partner makes you feel disconnected—even when you’re constantly “talking” to each other. Eventually, you’ll call it quits on the relationship.

Skewed Work-Life Balance

Overworking
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Let’s get one thing straight–-work is important. However, when it starts taking over every waking hour, your relationship will feel the strain because you won’t have enough time for each other. This feeling of neglect because of a partner’s job is almost guaranteed to cause unhappiness in your relationship.

The Pursuit of Perfection

Couple arguing with each other on the street, argue, argument, quarrel, conflict, fight
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Chasing the perfect relationship is like chasing a mirage—it doesn’t exist. Believing that everything should always be sunshine & rainbows sets you up for disappointment when reality eventually hits. It’ll make you question the whole relationship instead of just rolling with the punches.

Differing Attitudes Towards Health and Fitness

A couple working out with dumbbells in a gym.
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Even your attitudes towards fitness cause problems. When your lifestyles don’t match up, both sides feel frustrated—suddenly, what you eat and how often you work out becomes a debate topic. This difference feels like a gap that’s hard to bridge and especially when one partner shows zero enthusiasm for things the other likes.

Financial Misalignment

Poor couple with financial problems
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Money talks—and sometimes it says that you’re not on the same page. Beyond how much money you have, how you choose to use it may drive a wedge between the pair of you and this could develop into a major issue. How are you going to plan for the future or even decide on how to spend a weekend if you can’t choose how to spend money now?

Neglecting Small Acts of Kindness

Man giving a gift
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In the early days, you probably surprised each other with little gifts and those small gestures meant a lot. Unfortunately, when they start to disappear, you’ll feel unappreciated and taken for granted. It’s the little things that keep the love alive! You’ll start missing the surprise coffee on a difficult day as well as the feeling of your partner actually cherishing you. 

Privacy Invasion

Privacy
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These days, you’re able to track someone’s every move online and this has made privacy a big deal. Looking through your partner’s messages or obsessively checking their social media breaks trust quickly. Everyone needs their own space—even in a relationship and breaking this trust causes damage that’s hard to repair. 

Different Life Goals

Low angle view of young couple quarreling in bedroom, relationship difficulties, argue, argument, quarrel, conflict, fight
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It’s not unusual for people to change. Sometimes, this means developing new ambitions that don’t line up between partners and this creates a rift. Maybe one person suddenly wants to move to a new city for a job opportunity while the other is content where they are. Either way, not being on the same page about your future feels like you’re living separate lives.

Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.

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Couple
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