Making friends is usually easy—but keeping them is a whole other thing. Sometimes, even when you’re being your usual charming self – they back away! What’s going on? It could be those hidden habits that can send people running for the hills and here are 12 of them.
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Being Overly Critical
Giving advice is great—but if you’re always looking for mistakes & never miss a chance to point them out, then that’s a problem. You just come off as a buzzkill! Instead, try mixing in some positive feedback with your critiques because everyone’s a bit of a work in progress. A little encouragement can go a long way.
Not Sharing Personal Information
Another issue is being great at small talk but never getting personal. Why? Because people start to feel like they’re talking to a brick wall. Opening up & sharing a bit about yourself helps build connections—it’s simply give & take. People find it hard to feel close to someone who’s always too much of either one.
Flaking on Plans
A friend who always cancels at the last minute is not someone you’d ever want to be around—it’s so frustrating. When you’re known for bailing on plans, people stop inviting you out because showing up is a big part of maintaining friendships. Being there when you say you will tells people they matter to you and you value their time & company.
Being Too Self-Deprecating
A little self-deprecating humor can be endearing—as long as you don’t overdo it. After all, people start feeling uncomfortable when you constantly put yourself down. It puts them in a weird spot where they feel they need to reassure you. That gets old fast. Instead, mix it up with some other jokes!
Overusing Sarcasm
Similarly, sarcasm is hilarious in small doses. If every other sentence out of your mouth is dripping with sarcasm, people never know when you’re being serious and this is guaranteed to cause misunderstandings. It also makes it a lot harder to form strong connections with those around you.
Always Needing to Be Right
Nobody likes to feel like they’re in a constant debate. As such, you stop acting as though you’re always on a mission to prove you’re right—it makes everyone else feel tired. You should be open to other perspectives to make conversations more enjoyable. Better yet, it also helps you grow as a person.
Avoiding Apologies
Nobody’s perfect and that’s okay. The next time you mess up, own up to it with a sincere apology—otherwise, people might start thinking you don’t care about accountability. Dodging apologies makes you seem unapproachable and a simple “I’m sorry” is enough to show you’re mature.
Making Everything a Competition
Turning every conversation into a competition makes your friends feel like they’re in a rivalry instead of a friendship. Whether it’s one-upping stories or turning friendly games into serious contests, such a competitive streak is exhausting. You’re better off celebrating others’ achievements as much as your own.
Not Respecting Opinions
Agreeing to disagree is an art form and you shouldn’t dismiss other opinions simply because they don’t match yours. It leads to some seriously uncomfortable conversations. Of course, respecting different viewpoints doesn’t have to involve changing your own. It just shows you’re open to understanding where they’re coming from.
Over-Planning Social Interactions
While it’s great to be organized, trying to micromanage every aspect of a hangout sucks the spontaneity out of the whole thing. Sometimes, the best memories come from unplanned adventures. Lose the reins a bit & let things flow naturally—it makes everyone feel more relaxed and could even lead to more memorable experiences.
Giving Unsolicited Advice
It’s natural to want to help when you see a friend in trouble but dishing out advice when they haven’t asked for it makes you seem like a know-it-all. Usually, people want someone to listen rather than solve their problems for them. Listening more & advising less is exactly what a good friend does.
Lack of Enthusiasm
There’s no good reason to avoid showing enthusiasm for your friends’ achievements or good news. When you do, they’ll feel like you don’t really care. A little excitement on your part can go a long way so celebrate their wins as if they were your own because they’ll know you’re there to support them.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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