Let’s be real—conflict happens. Disagreements are normal in any relationship – with your friend, spouse, co-worker or with strangers. The challenge is handling them without blowing up. Sometimes, just knowing the right words to say keep the conversation calm and productive. With just a few words, you can ease tension, show that you care & even try to find a solution. These are the 12 phrases psychologists recommend to get you through tough situations with ease.
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“I Understand How You Feel”
Sometimes, all everyone needs is just to be heard. By this phrase, you are saying, “I understand, and I’m not dismissing your feelings.” Even if you don’t agree with what they’re saying, being empathic can bring down their barriers.
“Can We Take A Moment To Pause And Come Back To This?”
As things get a little intense, you might just continue until someone “wins.” But who really wins in a shouting contest? – No one. Requesting a break gives you two a breather – to reset & restart the conversation with clearer heads.
“What I Hear You Saying Is…”
This is a game-changer. If you repeat what the other person says in your own words, you’re showing that you’ve been listening. It also gives them an opportunity to explain if you got it wrong so you can avoid more arguments.
“Let’s Focus On Finding A Solution Together”
This phrase takes the conversation away from “you vs. me” and into “us vs. the issue.” This is like saying “We’re all on the same team so let’s figure this out.” And it feels productive rather than confrontational.
“Help Me Understand Why This Matters To You”
When someone’s mad, there’s often more to it than meets the eye. By asking this, you’re showing the willingness to listen, dig deep & find out what they think – not dismissing it as overreacting.
“I Take Responsibility For My Part In This”
It’s hard to admit your faults, but it’s important. It takes strength to accept when you’re wrong, and it helps motivate the other to do the same. Also, it’s proof that you’re mature enough to be able to prioritize the relationship over being right.
“How Can I Support You In This?”
That phrase is a little olive branch. It tells the other person that you’re not there to fight, but because you’re trying to help. Just the knowledge you’re there for them sometimes makes them feel better.
“It Seems Like This Is Really Important To You. Can You Tell Me More?”
When someone is upset, they want to feel understood. This phrase invites them to explain without feeling like you’re shutting them down. It also shows that you’re genuinely interested in what they have to say.
“Let’s Agree To Disagree On This For Now”
Not every problem is immediately solvable and that’s fine. There are days when you can just put the issue on the back burner and go back to it. This phrase keeps things from getting out of hand and acknowledges that the disagreement isn’t forgotten.
“I Think We Might Be Misunderstanding Each Other”
This saying is invaluable when things are just getting out of control. It’s like hitting the brakes and saying “Wait, are we even arguing about the same thing?” Miscommunications can escalate very fast, so catching them early is better.
“I Care About Our Relationship, So Let’s Work Through This”
This one is a bit melodramatic but it’s a hit because you tell the other person that the relationship matters more than the fight. It moves the focus away from the issue to what matters – your relationship with each other.
“I Appreciate Your Willingness To Talk About This With Me”
It can make all the difference to end the conversation in a positive note. Even if the disagreement can’t be resolved, showing appreciation for the exchange makes both of you feel respected and valued. It’s like wrapping things up with a bow.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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