10 Things You Should Never Say to an Introvert

Aren’t introverts often misunderstood? Many may think they are shy, withdrawn or lack being social. Instead, introverts prefer solitude and recharge in isolation. They take comfort in meaningful conversations and are more likely to feel drained after a night of socializing.

Sometimes, people say awkward things to introverts without truly understanding them. That is so insensitive, and we should carefully avoid such comments. In this list, let’s look at 10 things you should never say to an introvert.

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“Why Are You So Quiet?”

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This question makes them feel like they are somehow doing something wrong. It is not wrong for introverts to tend towards the listening side over talking. Instead, work hard to engage them in a deep conversation without making it so obvious and straightforward. Making them more vocal would only make the introvert get pressured or anxious, which does not help anyone.

“You Should Get Out More”

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Saying that they “should” go out more makes it seem as though their type of relaxation is off and not normal. All of us require downtime, but introverts need it more frequently in order to recharge and stay — or at least appear to stay — calm. Instead of piling on, appreciate their need for balance.

“Are You Mad? You’re Being So Quiet!”

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Not all quiet people are angry or upset. They process their thoughts internally, and can sometimes appear withdrawn or aloof ― although in many cases they are simply listening and reflecting on what is happening around them. When in doubt, remember to attribute no meaning to their silence and assume they are just being themselves based on your interaction with them.

“You’re Boring”

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It can be insulting to say someone is “boring” simply because they don’t engage in loud or spontaneous behavior. They may be indifferent in public [outwardly], but have a rich inner world — hobbies, ideas and creativity. To some, this might sound boring but to others it may sound extremely satisfying!

“Don’t You Ever Get Lonely?”

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For the most part, introverts like to be alone. It is their way to relax and unwind. While they can enjoy socializing, introverts will usually prefer a smaller setting and need time by themselves to recharge. To be alone is not something they dread, but it’s one of those things they hold close to their hearts.

“Stop Being So Anti-Social”

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Many introverts love having one on one conversations or being in small groups where they can be more intimate. To say they are anti-social, is to deny them how special of a person they are. They value their relationships, and while they are not the life of any party, their connections mean a lot to them.

“It’s Just a Small Gathering”

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Introverts also struggle with smaller social gatherings, especially under the guise of ‘networking.’ When someone informs an introvert that it is “a small gathering” — it tells them that their feelings of anxiety/discomfort are just excuses. It’s best to let them decide and give permission to attend or opt-out.

“You’re No Fun”

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Just because an introvert might prefer quieter activities or smaller groups doesn’t mean they’re “no fun.” Introverts have a different kind of fun — where reading, crafting or having deep one-on-one conversations are involved.

“You’re Overthinking It”

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Introverts usually take their time to analyze situations and sometimes this can result in overthinking – which leads to hesitation. This is also what helps them make the right decisions. Rather than prohibiting them from doing it, it is best to accept that this is their nature.

“You’re Too Sensitive”

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This sensitivity to the environment is more of a strength than weakness, or at least that is what the introverts tell themselves! To tell them they are being too sensitive is to essentially say their feelings are invalid. Because of sensitivity, introverts are able to have empathetic and deep connections with one another.

Disclaimer – This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.

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