Modern love has plenty of contradictions that we often fail to recognize—as we deal with dating & relationships today, we deal with paradoxes that have become normal. This includes wanting real connection while avoiding real conversations, as well as seeking authenticity but using filters on every photo. Here are ten contradictions we’re ignoring about modern love. It’s time for us to stop accepting these conflicting behaviors without thinking twice!
Featured Image Credit: VitalikRadko/Depositphotos.com.
Craving Deep Connection Without Meeting In-Person
A lot of us want meaningful relationships but end up texting instead of talking in person and relying on messages makes it harder to build real connection—we miss out on body language and tone of voice. Even though we want closeness, we usually pick the ease of texting over the depth of actual conversations. Emojis can’t replace real-life interactions and our preference for quick texts over calls or meetups keeps us at a distance.
Valuing Individuality But Demanding Complete Compatibility
We all like to think of ourselves as unique yet we sometimes expect our partners to agree with us on everything and we want them to share all our hobbies & opinions. We value being different at the same time as craving total compatibility and that doesn’t always work out. Instead, we should accept that our partners have their own interests—that’s part of appreciating individuality.
Fear of Being Alone but Reluctant to Commit
Many people hate the thought of being alone although they’ll also hesitate to commit to a relationship because they fear losing their freedom or worry about choosing the wrong person. They avoid the commitments that build lasting connections & it’s hard figuring out how to balance wanting someone around with not wanting to give up independence. They’re the kind of person who enjoys casual dating but pulls back when things get serious.
Oversharing Online but Guarding Personal Conversations
A lot of us post everything on social media, telling the world about our day—but then we’ll avoid discussing true feelings with those close to us. We’re more comfortable sharing with a broad audience than being vulnerable one-on-one. Seeking likes and comments online feels safer than face-to-face emotional discussions.
Wanting Instant Gratification but Seeking Long-Term Relationships
Many of us look for quick satisfaction while also wanting relationships that last, so we’ll rush into things with the wish for instant chemistry. But building a strong relationship takes time & patience. Such a clash between wanting it now and needing to invest effort is a contradiction we have to deal with and when things don’t move fast enough, we might lose interest.
Seeking Authenticity While Using Filters and Altered Images
While we say we want real connections, in the same breath, we’ll use filters & edit our photos online, creating a gap between who we are and how we appear. We present an overly-polished version of ourselves that makes it harder to find genuine connections—people aren’t seeing the real us. On dating apps, we might only post pictures with perfect lighting or apply filters in a way that sets unrealistic expectations.
Desiring Trust but Engaging in Casual Stalking
Everyone claims they want trust in their relationships—yet some of us can’t help checking our partner’s social media by scrolling through their followers or reading old comments! Such behavior undermines the trust we desire and rather than building confidence, we’re feeding insecurity. You have to resist snooping and communicate openly if you want a secure relationship.
Preferring Independence but Expecting Constant Availability
We claim to love our independence while also expecting our partners to be there whenever we need them, which creates tension because we’re not giving our partners the same space we want. We might plan our schedules without consulting them, yet expect them to adjust theirs in a way that’s not fair. Somehow, we need to figure out the difference between personal freedom & being there for each other.
Advocating Open-Mindedness While Holding Rigid Preferences
Most of us imagine ourselves as open-minded but in terms of dating, we might have strict preferences—we only consider partners who fit certain criteria. Such rigidity about looks & careers limits our chances of meeting amazing people who don’t fit our checklist and goes against our supposed openness. Swiping left on dating apps based on small details makes us dismiss potential matches much too quickly.
Encouraging Vulnerability but Judging Emotional Expression
In the same breath that we tell our partners to open up & share their feelings, we might judge them when they do and this makes them hesitant to express themselves again. We want honesty & vulnerability yet feel rather uncomfortable with strong emotions. Sometimes, we react negatively or change the subject when they share their fears and this sends mixed signals.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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